Monday,
October 31: I Remember Halloween
This year,
we had a very low-key Halloween here at MonsterPants World Headquarters.
We didn’t have a party this year, so the little lady and
I stayed in to watch seasonal favorites. She had never seen
the Rankin/Bass
Halloween feature, Mad
Monster Party? (1967), so this seemed like the perfect night.
Man, I forgot
how long that thing is. For those of you who haven't seen it,
it's a full-length stop-motion Halloween film in the style of
the Christmas specials that the company is so famous for. Boris
Karloff plays mad scientist "Boris Von Frankenstein"
who hosts a party where all of the famous monsters are invited.
Sounds great, huh?
Unfortunately,
the film doesn't have the usual Rankin/Bass magic. The stop
motion puppets are great, but the script (co-written by Mad
Magazine founder Harvey
Kurtzman) is pretty painful. The casting of Phyllis
Diller as "the Monster's Mate" only makes things
worse, as she basically plays herself doing a variation of her
nightclub act. Dreadful songs and inappropriate sexual innuendo
only drag things down more.
All in all,
Mad Monster Party? is a holiday special best enjoyed with the
volume off. The visuals are amazing and would be great played
in the background during a Halloween party.
Sugar-shock
set in from all of the candy that we've been eating this year
and my better half didn't think she'd make it through a second
full-length feature. So I put on the first episode of Joe
Ahearne’s British vampire TV series, "Ultraviolet"
(1998). Lisa had never seen the supernatural crime drama,
which I had always had some affection for. She's been officially
sucked in.
Solo, I
watched the last feature of the evening, I
Was a Teenage Werewolf (1957). Before hopping on the Highway
to Heaven, TV's Michael
Landon was headed down an unholy path. The film starts out
as a standard Juvenile Delinquent film as the hot-tempered Landon
gets into all sorts of trouble. But things shift gears and take
on the tone of a Scientology scare film as a twisted psychologist
gives Landon a new drug that turn him into the original Teen-Wolf.
Because
of the goofy title, people who haven't seen the film expect
it to be a comedy -- it's not. Landon's wolfman is a killer,
and there's no basketball scholarship in his future.
Cool werewolf
makeup makes this an often-overlooked b-horror classic. A perfect
film to cap off a Happy Halloween.
Sunday,
October 30: Die Suckers!
Aside from
watching Paul
Naschy in Rojo
Sangre (2004), today was a vampire day -- but I'll get to
that in a minute. In this Spanish film, Naschy plays an elderly
movie star who can no longer get work. He's forced to take a
job as a mascot for a sex cabaret -- a living statue who stands
outside of the club dressed as famous killers from throughout
the ages. Meanwhile, talentless young celebrities get all of
the film roles that real actors, such as he, used to play.
The proud
Naschy, already unstable due to the murder of his daughter,
snaps and begins killing in the same manner as those of the
monsters he portrays. This is an excellent movie. Naschy has
never been better. The film is stylishly film and edited. I
highly recommend this one.
On with
the vampires:
I started
off with a double feature: The
Vampire (1957) and the sequel, The
Vampire's Coffin (1958). These two classics of Mexican horror
cinema feature the same cast in two successive stories. Filmed
in beautiful black & white and with all of the classic Universal
elements, these films are worth a look next Halloween, after
you've worn out your Bela Lugosi discs.
I always
have to have a little bit of Hammer
horror at Halloween time, so I popped in the new DVD release
of Dracula
A.D. 1972 (1972). Though it features Christopher
Lee as the Count and Peter
Cushing as Professor Van Helsing, it's hardly a Hammer classic.
But it's not the worst Lee/Cushing/Hammer Dracula movie either.
That would be, in my opinion, The
Satanic Rites of Dracula (1974), where the evil vampire
is finally put to death by running through a prickly bush.
Like "The
Satanic Rites", "Dracula '72" doesn't feature
as much of old the old bloodsucker as one would want, but it
does feature plenty of Cushing and a strong supporting cast
led by Stephanie
Beacham, Christopher
Neame and Caroline
Munro.
Dracula
A.D. 1972 brings the legendary vampire into the 20th century
fairly successfully, with out being too silly or campy. It's
also gets extra credit for accentuating the satanic aspects
of the Prince of Darkness.
Hail Satan!
Hail Dracula! Hail Hammer!
Saturday,
October 29: Wolfsploitation
"This
is a murder mystery in which you are the detective ... but instead
of 'who is the murderer?', the question is 'who is the werewolf?'..."
Thus begins
the Amicus
production of The
Beast Must Die (1974), which I watched last night. It's
a werewolf "whodunit" with a who's who of cult cinema
as it's supporting cast: Peter
Cushing, Marlene
Clark, Charles
Gray and a youthful Michael
Gambon. Eight people are held captive during the full moon
by a hunting-obsessed millionaire who is hell-bent on discovering
which of them is a werewolf in order to kill the cursed creature.
Ten-minutes
before the end of the film, there is a "werewolf break".
It's the viewer's last chance to guess the identity of the lycanthrope
before all is revealed. According to the interview with director
Paul
Annett that is included on the British Anchor Bay DVD, this
element was added at the last minute by producer Milton
Subotsky, who hated how the movie turned out. The director
was not pleased.
Today the
little lady and I watched Halloween...
The Happy Haunting of America! (1997), which star Daniel
Roebuck was kind enough to send Larry and I. The documentary
is an affectionate look at Halloween traditions and haunted
houses across the US with an all-star cast reflecting on their
favorite holiday memories.
For our
Halloween weekend celebration, we had a few friends over who
had not seen CanniBallistic!
(2002). The movie's built-in party game was played. Since
star Don
Wood didn't show up, nobody was eaten.
Wednesday,
October 26: Bonehead
Check this
out: An Amicus
production based on a story by Robert
Bloch, directed by Freddie
Francis, starring Peter
Cushing and Christopher
Lee, and featuring cameo performances by Michael
Gough and Patrick
Magee!
The movie
is The
Skull (1965), one of the better non-anthology Amicus titles.
The head bone in question here was that of the Marquis de Sade.
It’s possessed by a demon that was supposed to be the
source of the infamous nobleman’s depravity.
The evil
artifact has the ability to move on it's own and drives men
to murder. Cushing is classy and composed as always, as is Lee
who plays good guy for a change. It’s a nice, little,
atmospheric horror film.
It's probably
no coincidence that the final film in The Mummy series, The
Mummy's Curse (1944), is also the weakest.
There have
always been continuity problems with this run of films, but
"Curse" has one of the most baffling leaps. The previous
film, made in the same year, ends with Kharis and his queen
entering a swamp in Massachusetts. This film finds the living
mummy and the lady emerging from the same swamp -- in the middle
of Cajun country! No explanation is ever given for the miraculous
move.
Regardless
of his surroundings, Lon
Chaney Jr. does the usual job of shambling around and strangling
people. I can only imagine that after three films, he was glad
to take off the bandages, put this role behind him and appear
in other b-movies that would actually allow him to speak!
I'm done
with mummy movies for now. Maybe it's time for some vampires,
or perhaps werewolves...
Tuesday,
October 25: Sloppy Seconds
It's a crappy,
rainy day out and I don't feel like leaving the house. Instead,
I spent the evening enjoying a double dose of Godfather of Gore,
Mr.
Herschell Gordon Lewis.
Almost forty
years after he created the gore film genre Lewis returned to
filmmaking with Blood
Feast 2: All U Can Eat (2002), a sequel to his first bloody
hit. This shot-on-video feature has Fuad Ramses III setting
up shop in the same storefront where his grandfather committed
his crimes back in the original film. Falling under the spell
of the goddess Istar, Fuad 3 has no choice but start carving
up the little ladies and turning them in to ingredients for
the Blood Feast!
Herschell's
classic films always had amateurish acting in them, but the
lead in this film overacts so much, it's painful. Also in the
cast here is "real" character actor John
McConnell in a supporting role as a cop with an eating disorder
and John
Waters in a cameo as a priest.
Lewis' usual
tongue-in-cheek humor has been replaced with the sort of goofy
bad jokes one expects from a Troma
film, which isn't to my taste. I did enjoy the soundtrack, with
songs by Southern
Culture on the Skids, which fit the film perfectly.
The most
important part of any H.G. Lewis film is, of course, the gore.
On that, this one definitely delivers. There are a couple of
"kills" here that even turned my stomach. It's nice
to know that the Godfather of Gore still lives up to his name.
Now, back
to the classics:
I've always
had a soft spot for Lewis' Color
Me Blood Red (1965). A lot of this has to do with the promotional
campaign: The heavy-handed trailer is simply awesome. And that
poster! What could be cooler than Satan using a severed head
as a paint bucket as he does a portrait of a bound woman in
her underwear?
The film
itself has one of the better-written scripts of any of his movies.
Gordon
Oas-Heim's performance as the mad artist who can only create
great work when he paints in blood is head and shoulder above
the usual caliber of acting seen in these films. And then there's
that weird semi-androgynous couple that dress the same -- what's
their deal?
The gore
seems minimal for a Lewis film here, aside from two truly stomach
turning scenes. That aside, Color Me Blood Red really satisfies!
Finally,
more horrors of Egypt tonight, with the Ernst
Lubitsch drama, The
Eyes of the Mummy (1918). Pola
Negri plays a woman held captive by a crazed desert rat
(Emil
Jannings -- the first man to win an Oscar for best actor).
She is rescued by a vacationing European man who takes her back
to Germany. Her crazed kidnapper follows, hell-bent on revenge.
The Egyptian
woman becomes a famous dancer, but is plagued by supernatural
visions of her former captor. Eventually, those illusions become
real, as the evil man finds her and moves in for the kill.
Despite
the images that the title conjures up, there's no shambling
Universal-type walking mummy here. The film's name refers to
a scam that the evil man put our heroine up to while she was
his captive. Still, it's a beautifully rendered and compelling
story.
But tomorrow,
it's back to bandages!
Monday,
October 24: Freaks and Geeks
With more
than a nod to Tod
Browning's Freaks, The
Mutations (1973) combines the carnival sideshow genre with
that of the mad scientist.
Donald
Pleasence plays the doctor trying to combine the DNA of
a human with that of a plant to create a new race of supermen.
Doctor
Who himself, Tom
Baker, is the grotesquely deformed owner of a sideshow,
who loathes his own and assists the mad doctor in hopes that
he will find a cure for his condition.
As with
the film Freaks, real-life sideshow performers are featured.
The folks in this film are actually better actors than those
in the older film, but the script and tone of Mutations is no
match for Browning's classic. The film is currently available
on DVD under its original working title, "The
Freakmaker".
Once again,
Lon
Chaney Jr. has the thankless task of silently limping around
as the title character in The
Mummy's Ghost (1944). This sequel combines a few story elements
from the original film with the tried-and-true formula of the
later films.
John
Carradine plays the mummy's human agent this time. Despite
heavy makeup, he doesn't look Egyptian at all, but the effect
is quite creepy on his gaunt features.
Sunday,
October 23: Old School Wrapper
Lon
Chaney Jr. puts on the rags and takes his first turn as
Kharis, the living mummy in The
Mummy's Tomb (1942), the third film in the Universal series.
The film begins with a long and very detailed recap of the preceding
film, The
Mummy's Hand (1940), using many long clips from said picture.
This film
doesn't have a lot of the painful humor of its predecessor,
but continues down the trashy road that every sequel to the
class Karloff picture tread. Still, I love that mummy!
Just like
your mom, my girlfriend loves Alan
Alda, so tonight we watched him become possessed by a devil-worshipping
pianist in The
Mephisto Waltz (1971). This film is of significance to me
only because I remember seeing it many years ago on the same
night I that I first watched Suspiria.
The beginning of the film, which features Alda as the main character,
is really good with lots of eerie Rosemary’s Baby-esque
atmosphere. But once the focus shifts to his weak-willed wife,
played by the lovely Jacqueline
Bisset, it sort of falls apart. The character is just too
lame to carry the film.
The couple
also have a young daughter, played by 70's child actor Pamelyn
Ferdin, yet it's an hour into the film (which takes place
mainly in the couple's home) before you see the parents anywhere
near their kid. Typical Hollywood parents.
Unfortunately,
She-Wolf
of London (1946), isn't a sequel to the Henry Hull classic.
It stars a pre-space mom June
Lockhart who believes that she has inherited her family's
curse of the werewolf when a series of grisly murders are committed
nearby.
It's a nice
little b movie, but don't expect to see a monster. There's no
Chaney-type transformation, or even the subtle makeup of Werewolf
of London.
Oh well,
at least Ginger
Snaps (2000) is on cable this month.
Saturday,
October 22: Welcome to the Dollhouse
If for no
other reason, The
Devil-Doll (1936) is a fun film because Lionel
Barrymore spends most of the film dressed as an old woman.
One of the last films from the great Tod
Browning, it tells the story of how escaped convict Barrymore
brings the men who framed him to justice.
Using a
secret formula developed by a former cellmate, Barrymore turns
people into doll-sized zombies who are committed to do his every
bidding. Not the worst of plans, and the film's effects pull
off the illusion of the tiny doll people walking around in the
relatively gigantic world nicely. Barrymore's drag act ain't
half-bad either.
Amityville
II: The Possession (1982) is one of those rare sequels that
is generally considered better than the original. Not hard to
do, if you've seen the first film in the series recently.
Though still
not a great horror film, it has some really creepy moments (mostly
incest-related) and some over-the-top demonic possession scenes.
The story is meant to be a prequel, depicting the murders that
occurred years before the events in the first film took place.
The old
Indian burial ground device is the culprit here, but I'm not
sure how this leads to a demon from the Christian religion attacking
the family. Hell makes strange bedfellows, I guess.
Friday,
October 21: Master-piece
Being the
super-nice guy that he is, Angus
invited the little lady and I to the NYC
Horror Film Festival special screening of Incident
On and Off a Mountain Road (2005). It's the first episode
of Showtime's Masters
Of Horror series. Another great guy, director Don
Coscarelli, was there to introduce the piece with Angus
and do a Q&A session after the film.
It's easy
to see why Showtime chose Coscarelli's film to open up the series
this coming Friday, October 28. The piece is scary as hell.
Lisa watched the majority of it with her face covered. It's
much more raw and brutal than one would expect from Don, but
Angus is there in a supporting role to add a little bit of levity.
"Incident" proves that Coscarelli is indeed a master
of horror.
Angus and
Don stuck around for hours after the screening to meet with
friends and fans. They don't make people any cooler than those
guys. I just wish that my girlfriend would stop talking about
how handsome she finds Coscarelli...
Thursday,
October 20: It's Hip to be Scared
In Curse
of the Headless Horseman (1974), a young doctor takes a
bunch of his hippie friends to check out a cowboy-themed roadside
attraction that he's recently inherited. The miniature ranch
has seen better days, but the gang all agree to bring the place
back to life with a little bit of showmanship and counter-culture
burlesque.
Of course,
the place is cursed and there's a Headless Horseman who likes
to trap kids when they're alone and spray blood on them by swinging
his severed head in their direction. Once marked-- the victim
is doomed to die!!!
This super-cheapie
has a crazy soundtrack and crazier script. It's slow moving,
but not a complete drag. Warhol crony, Ultra
Violet, shows up as a French burlesque queen who wants to
buy the place and turns in the poorest performance of the film
-- not an easy task!
Back in
the day, Dracula had his black coach, driven by possessed stallions.
In modern days, The
Velvet Vampire (1971) picks up her prey in her dune buggy.
Yet another tripped-out gothic horror set in contemporary times,
this gem features Celeste
Yarnall as bloodsucker Diane LeFanu who feeds on Michael
Blodgett (one of the weirdest-looking hunks around) and
his idiot wife.
This is
New World Pictures moving into Jess
Franco territory, with more softcore sex than one would
expect, dreamy sequences and a little vampire lesbo action.
As an American, Lady LeFanu has a hard time living up to the
European standard of being an undead aristocrat. At one point
of the film she pursues her prey across the desert -- by taking
a Greyhound bus!
Wednesday,
October 19: Photo-op
Tonight
was the pre-launch party for The
Roost, which opens theatrically in NYC, Los Angeles, Boston,
Austin and Houston, TX this Friday.
We had a
couple of surprise guests drop by -- Angus
Scrimm & Don
Coscarelli! They are in town for the NYC
Horror Film Festival where they will be screening the premiere
film in Showtime's Masters
Of Horror series, Incident
On and Off a Mountain Road (2005), directed by Coscarelli
and starring Angus.
The above
photo was taken by Larry
Fessenden and here's who's in it from left to right:
Sean
Reid (crouching) (star of The Roost), Ti
West (director of The Roost), Don
Coscarelli (director of Phantasm, Bubba Ho-tep, etc.), Angus
Scrimm (star of Phantasm, The Off Season, etc.) and yours
truly.
Thanks to
everyone who came and helped to make it such a swell night.
Sunday,
October 16: Sea No Evil
Operation:
Atlantic. That's the name of the top secret modeling mission
that puts a couple of young inexperienced girls out in the middle
of an ocean in a tiny motorboat in order to "drum up publicity"
for a sporting goods company. The idea is that large shipping
vessels will spot the sailing beauties and tell everyone about
it - creating a huge press sensation.
Of course,
this makes no sense, and it doesn't work out as planned. The
girls never run across any curious sailors. Instead they find
only The
Ghost Galleon (1974), in this, the third film in Amando
de Ossorio's Tombs
Of The Blind Dead series.
Despite
the ridiculous premise and some silly dialogue, this movie is
a huge improvement over the second Blind Dead film. It's all
about perfect iconic spooky imagery here -- such as the heavy
doses of scantily clad damsels, peering through the mist, as
they explore a mysterious ghost ship by lantern light. Of course,
the highlights are the scenes of the blind, walking dead Templar
Knights as they emerge from their coffins in order to devour
the pretty young things.
The only
missing element is the always-striking image from the other
films of the Templars on horseback. But there's only so much
room on a boat.
The final
film in the series, Night
Of The Seagulls (1975), could possibly be my favorite. It
certainly has the best script, and the Blind Dead are back on
their mounts, riding in that dreamy way that they do.
But unlike
The Ghost Galleon, which has a very satisfying ending, the ending
of this film kind of bites. It's a pretty anticlimactic ending
for both the film and the series. In fact there's no real climax
at all. I don't want to give too much away, but with one minor
effort from our heroes, the Templars are quickly defeated. It's
over in seconds -- zombies go bye bye.
I guess
they didn't see it coming.
| |
The
Roost
Pre-Launch Party!!!
SEE shocking, never-before-seen footage on the
big screen!
HEAR a horrifying music
backdrop including songs from the 80s!!
Members of the band FLUX will perform selections from
the soundtrack LIVE @ 11pm
MANNAHATTA
316 Bowery @ Bleecker St. (across from CBGB)
Wednesday, October 19 @ 9.30 PM
DRINK SPECIALS
2-4-1 anything you want from 9.30 – 10.30pm
$5 Absolut drinks all night
The
Roost opens Friday, October 21st
Village East Cinemas (2nd Ave. @ 12th St.)
See
you there!
|
Saturday,
October 15: The Wacky Dead
I've been
able to steal a few moments here and there to enjoy the new
video game, Evil
Dead 3: Regeneration, for the PS2. It’s easily the
best Evil Dead game to date, although some folks may find it
to be a bit too easy.
As I spent
today stuck on the couch with the flu, it’s seemed like
the perfect opportunity to revisit the whole Evil
Dead Trilogy: The
Evil Dead (1981), Evil
Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987) and Army
of Darkness (1993).
For the
last film, I watched the Bruce
Campbell vs. the Army of Darkness (Boomstick Edition) DVD.
I have to admit, although Raimi’s original ending for
the film was a much gutsier choice, I find the studio mandated
“happy” version much more satisfying.
Sticking
with zombie franchises, I also watched the premieres of the
two new entries to the Return
of the Living Dead series on the SciFi
Channel.
The first,
Return
of the Living Dead 4: Necropolis (2005), stars Peter
Coyote who seems so uncomfortable here that he appears as
if he’s in physical agony. He plays the bad guy who brings
the zombies back to life in order to create Borg-like super
soldiers.
A bunch
of geeky kids band together and manage to stop him and his army
of the undead. How do they do this? Well, despite just being
“average” high school students, they all have all
of the skills of a Navy Seal: weapons training, killer martial
arts skills and the ability to repel down a skyscraper without
batting an eye. Y’know, average kid stuff.
“Necropolis”
is pretty much what you’d expect from a direct-to-TV movie
with a “4” at the end of it’s title. But it
has considerably less humor in it than the original ROTLD films.
This movie would never hold up in theaters, but is far better
than what one usually gets from these SciFi Channel “original”
cinema events.
Poor Peter
Coyote returns in the direct sequel, Return
of the Living Dead 5: Rave to the Grave (2005). Thankfully,
he’s put out of his misery pretty early on. The same dorky
teens who took on the zombies in “Necropolis” are
here again, but seem to have forgotten what zombies look like,
as they seem totally confused about what’s going on when
the dead walk once more. This film struggles to bring the yuks
back into the series and the results are more painful than having
your brains chewed out by the walking dead.
Also on
cable today was Vlad
(2003). I had some hopes for this story of a group of students
led into the Carpathian Mountains by Billy
Zane as they search for the true Dracula. Unfortunately,
the film was a little flat.
But Zane
is great as always. Why isn’t he a bigger star? Is he
the only one who didn’t make out like a bandit after Titanic?
Somebody needs to fix this.
Thursday,
October 13: Where the Hell Were You?
I just
got back from a week in Las Vegas. The fun included going to
the premiere of the new Blue Man Group show at the Venetian
and the after-party where the re-formed New
York Dolls rocked the house.
My friends
Chris & Linda joined me for the Star
Trek: The Experience at the Hilton. The old motion simulator
"Klingon Encounter" ride still rules, while the newer
"Borg Invasion 4D" has the best 3-D effects that I've
ever seen on the screen. How do you say "nerd" in
Klingon?
I also saw
Margot
Kidder sitting out in front of a collectibles store in the
Caesar's Palace Mall signing autographs for cash. I kept moving
and didn't make eye contact.
But no trip
to Vegas would be complete without a visit to the Boardwalk
Casino to see the greatest Prince
tribute band in the world, Purple
Reign. So awesome in so many ways.
Not being
a gambling man, I spent most of my daytime hours at the movies.
Due to what was playing at the cinemas, I had to break my "only
horror movies in October" rule. Here's what I saw:
Thursday,
October 6
I'm definitely in the minority on this one, but I really liked
The
Brothers Grimm (2005). It's enjoyable if you're not expecting
a "real" Terry
Gilliam film.
I was also
pleasantly surprised by The
Cave (2005), which I never had any intention of seeing.
I only saw this film because it was playing at the right place
at the right time, but it wasn't half bad. Directed by Mike's
brother, Bruce
Hunt, the film features some pretty cool monsters designed
by Patrick
Tatopoulos.
Friday,
October 7
Lowered expectations did nothing for The
Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005), which was a bit of a drag.
This is a "Law & Order"-style courtroom drama
that attempts to tell a scary story through flashbacks, but
you've seen it all before.
Saturday,
October 8
Both of the films I saw today seemed better suited for the small
screen:
Joss
Whedon's Serenity
(2005) feels like a pilot for a fairly decent sci-fi TV
series. It has a television-level cast and mediocre plot with
better-than-usual effects. It also has Whedon's "Buffy"-type
humor, which isn't really very funny. Still, the film has its
moments and is definitely worth a rental.
I'm not
a huge fan of Tim
Burton's brand of San Fernando Valley Gothic-Lite, but I
do like the spooky, Rankin/Bass-knockoff,
holiday films that he stamps his name on. While Corpse
Bride (2005) may not be quite as magical as The
Nightmare Before Christmas (1993), I'm sure that it will
entertain generations for many Halloweens to come. Some high
points for the geeks: hearing Christopher
Lee's voice work and seeing scream queen Barbara
Steele's striking mouth on the title character!
Sunday,
October 9
Here I go again, recommending another Disney film. I can’t
help it -- Sky
High (2005) is simply one of the best superhero films made!
An homage to both the X-men
and the films of John
Hughes, the movie sports an excellent supporting cast: Kurt
Russell plays the world's greatest veteran superhero (perfect
casting -- I once saw Russell in real life as he was standing
in front of a Jiffy Lube and was awe-struck by his god-like
presence. I'm serious!), Lynda
Carter is still stunning after all these years, Bruce
Campbell does his thing, and the underrated Kevin
McDonald practically steals the show as a mad genius science
teacher. Simply a blast.
Just about
everybody I know either loves David
Cronenberg or is completely indifferent to him. I'm somewhere
in the middle. The odd thing about his latest film, A
History of Violence (2005), is that Cronenberg's fans seem
to hate the thing, while the others are okay with it. Again,
I'm half and half. Literally.
Viggo
Mortensen's performance carries the firs half of the film
and I was totally drawn in. Then, a little less than halfway
through, things change gears and the film becomes something
of a bad joke. I mean, it gets so unintentionally silly. In
the hands of a not-so-humorless director as uber-nerd Cronenberg,
this cartoonish gangster stuff could have been handled far more
effectively. But that's not the case here. William
Hurt's embarrassing performance as a boozy mob boss is laughable
and does nothing to help matters.
On top of
all that, I found myself distracted by Howard
Shore's theme music, the melody of which is IDENTICAL to
a System
of a Down song (don't ask me which one). I can just imagine
old Howard walking through a mall in Beverly Hills and subconsciously
taking in the S.O.D. tune as he passes the Hot
Topic. He gets home and can't get it out of his head. Thus,
another classic score is born.
Fans will
enjoy the couple of "husband and wife gone wild" scenes
that show that after all of these years, Cronenberg hasn't lost
his Penthouse
Forum view of sexual relations.
Anyway,
it's a good HALF of a movie. But instead of letting yourself
down, you should check out the original graphic novel written
by Judge Dredd creator John
Wagner. William Hurt's not in it.
Tonight:
Thursday, October 13
Finally, on the eve of the release of the Hollywood remake,
I watched John
Carpenter's The
Fog (1980). Arguably the weakest of Carpenter's films, I'm
curious to see what the new version will be like. Will they
do with The Fog what Carpenter did with The
Thing -- take a disappointing older film and turn it into
a modern classic? Probably not. But I'm still curious…
Monday,
October 3: Not so Hot
After an
exhausting day, I popped in Image's
DVD of The Rites of Frankenstein. This is the tame version
of Jess
Franco's The
Erotic Rites of Frankenstein (1972). The disc has the "racier"
(meaning: "nude") scenes as bonus items. They are
from a pretty awful print, which explains why Image probably
went with the cleaner "clean version" as the source
elements for the main feature.
The film
opens just as Dr, Frankenstein has brought his creature to life.
The monster has the Universal-style square brow, but silver
metallic skin.Just as the monster breathes his first breaths,
Melissa, the Bird Woman (Anne
Libert) bursts into the lab wearing (in true Franco style)
only a cape and kills the doctor.
She takes
the monster back to her master, infamous occultist Count Cagliostro
(Howard
Vernon). A plan unravels to create a mate for the monster
and somehow Frankenstein's beautiful daughter gets sucked into
the plot.
This is
typical Franco: cheap monsters, sex and pacing that would but
a slug to sleep. I'd expect no less from him and certainly no
more.
Sunday,
October 2: Scream and Scream Again
This morning
I started off my personal October horror-thon by watching two
films that have been sitting on my digital cable DVR drive for
a few weeks:
What can
I say about The
Boogens (1982)? It was made in 1982, so it's got the usual
young people partying, a cabin in the woods and something killing
the kids off one by one.
Obviously,
it's the title characters that are doing the killing. They're
these neat giant turtle things. But the real terror in this
film is the heroine's little white dog who is bane of kid's
existence. One of the guys claims to have built a doggie electric
chair for little Tiger. Poor little Tiger...
I then watched
Michael
Powell’s career-killing slasher, Peeping
Tom (1960). It's the story of a twisted voyeuristic photographer
who is obsessed with filming women's fear as he kills them with
his customized blade-tipped tripod. Not to be missed.
After dinner,
the spookfest continued with the eighth film in the Hellraiser
series, Hellraiser:
Hellworld (2005). Once again directed by Rick
Bota, this one stars genre hero Lance Henriksen and former
"The
It Factor" cast member Katheryn
Winnick. Like Bota's previous entries in the series, it's
not terribly bad -- it's just not a real Hellraiser film. There
does seem to be a bit more Cenobite action in it than were in
the last few films.
The most
terrifying things in the world don't come from a magic box or
an abandoned mine, but from mobile homes in Alabama. Lightning
Bug (2004) is a great little indie that focuses on the life
of a horror fan and future FX artist growing up in the middle
of the Bible Belt.
Sit-com
star and earth-bound goddess Laura
Prepon co-stars as his mixed up girlfriend. Original Hellraiser
heroine Ashley
Laurence plays the Fangoria-fiend's
mom.
The
film is based on the director's childhood in the sticks, where
local Christians did all that they could to shut down Halloween.
Now that's scary.
Saturday,
October 1: The Fear is Here!
October
is finally here. It's my favorite month, due to the perfect
weather and, of course, Halloween! We'll be celebrating my favorite
holiday all month here at hotaslove.com. I'll be watching AT
LEAST 31 horror films in as many days and will report back on
every one of them.
To start
things off I've replaced the usual 5 beginning-of-the-month
recommendations with 31 film frights to put you in the mood
for spooky celebrations. There's nothing very obscure here,
these are mostly traditional favorites that you can get from
most video rental outlets. Now, to the list:
As much
as the film industry is crazy about horror these days, they're
twice as nuts about zombie movies. Some of the offerings lately
have been good, some not so. But the living dead revival movie
that really blew me away was Shaun
of the Dead (2004). I have to say that this is a near-perfect
film that combines comedy and horror beautifully. Anyone visiting
this site has probably already seen this film, but should do
so again and again.
The other
zombie films to watch this month mostly come from the original
decade of the undead – the 1970's: Catch Bob
Clark's darkly comedic, hippy zombie film Children
Shouldn't Play With Dead Things (1972). He's announced a
remake, of course. Let
Sleeping Corpse Lie (1974) is a beautifully atmospheric
European film that should not be missed.
The entire
Tombs
of the Blind Dead (1971) series has just been released as
a box set from Blue
Underground. I've only seen the first two films (the first
is MUCH better than the second), so I'm looking forward to checking
out the third and fourth later this month. And, of course, what
would Halloween be without revisiting the classic Night
of the Living Dead (1968)? It still blows every other zombie
flick out of the water.
Speaking
of the classics, I insist that you take in The
Golem (1920), which features some of the most amazing set
designs you've ever seen. Also incredible is the entire look
of the Boris
Karloff / Bela
Lugosi film, The
Black Cat (1934). Another great pairing is Lon
Chaney Jr. and Sid
Haig in the Jack
Hill cult classic Spider
Baby (1964). And spend some more quality time with Boris
Karloff in his last outing as the Frankenstein monster in the
often-overlooked Son
of Frankenstein (1939).
Frankenstein
was a huge influence on me as a child. Not that I had seen the
James
Whale film, but because my parents took me to see Abbott
and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948) at a local park when
I was three or four years old. I had no idea who the Abbott
and Costello were, but that monster (as well as all of the other
Universal favorites that appear in the film) really stuck with
me.
Other films
that haunted me as a child were The
Birds (1963), with its amazing scoreless soundtrack, and
Dead
of Night (1945), one of the only anthology films that I've
ever enjoyed.
Revenge
of the Creature (1955) played over and over in 3-D on local
TV in the summer of 1980. You could get glasses at you local
Cumberland Farms for free. I never missed a showing of this
sequel to Creature
from the Black Lagoon (1954). I think it’s the film
that began my love with amphibious man-monsters. If you share
my appreciation of such things, you should also check out Island
of the Fishmen (1979).
It's no
secret that I love the horror films from Hammer
Studios, particularly their vampire flicks. Dracula
- Prince of Darkness (1966) and Dracula
Has Risen from the Grave (1968) starring Christopher
Lee as the legendary bloodsucker are my favorites. See another
dimension of Lee and Peter
Cushing’s Dracula/ Van Helsing adversarial relationship
in Hammer's version of The
Mummy (1959).
You'll notice
that my taste tends to lean toward older films. I was never
much of a fan of the mainstream, cookie-cutter, commercial horror
movies of the 1980's. But there were a few unique films from
that decade that stand out: Spookies
(1987) often gets compared to Phantasm because it's just
plain weird. I'm not sure that was the filmmakers' intention,
however. The movie is an amazingly bizarre mess that has to
be seen to be believed. Also a bit offbeat is John
Carpenter's Prince
of Darkness (1987). It's an uneven film, but has some really
interesting moments, including the terrifying dream/broadcast
sequences and a cameo by Alice
Cooper.
Near
Dark (1987) is a non-traditional vampire film starring Lance
Henriksen that is an '80's favorite, as is Dario
Argento's Phenomena
(1985). Starring Donald
Pleasence and a young Jennifer
Connelly, this is probably one of my favorite films by the
Italian master of horror.
Charles
Band gave birth to the Puppet
Master in1989, but I'm gong to recommend the prequel, Puppet
Master 3 (1991) here because I think it's the best film
in the series. While very little horror of quality came out
in the early 1990's, there were a few treats. My best gal has
two favorites from this period: the Tales
from the Crypt film, Demon
Knight (1995) with Billy
Zane, and Wes
Cravens' Twin
Peaks-inspired The
People Under the Stairs (1991).
The late
1990's opened the door to the mainstream horror craze that has
continued into the new millennium. Some of the more interesting
films of the current era include the vampire movie The
Wisdom of Crocodiles (1998) starring Jude
Law and the British werewolf film Dog
Soldiers (2002). Session
9 (2001) is super-creepy and features our friend Larry
Fessenden in small but memorable role. Final
Destination 2 (2003) is a perfect sequel to the first film
in the series and another is on the way.
There aren't
any slasher films listed here. I tend to gravitate toward monsters
and the supernatural at this time of year. But if you want a
good, gritty, serial killer movie, check out Deranged
(1974), based on the career on Ed
Gein.
That's thirty
films. What will you watch on Halloween Night itself? Why, Phantasm
(1979), of course. It's hot as love!
Let the
scares begin…
