Monday,
May 30: Lindsay Lohan, Lindsay Lohan
More guilty
pleasures:
Italian strongman actor Ken
Wood (aka Giovanni Cianfriglia) cuts an impressive figure
as the title character in Superargo
and the Faceless Giants (1968). Our costumed hero is a former
wrestler who fights crime using a few super-gadgets, fast cars
and amazing psychic abilities. With his Hindi aide and teacher
by his side, Superargo is part Green
Hornet, part Santo,
and part Lee Falk's The
Phantom. Like far too few of the great costumed heroes,
Superargo leaves his mask on at all times, even around the house
and while he's sleeping. We never see his face.
In this
film, his second cinematic outing, Superargo fights a bunch
of gigantic men-turned-robots (guys with nylon stockings over
their faces and colanders on their heads). It's a cool 1960's
action piece -- less intentionally campy than the Batman
TV series, but almost as cool.
All this
boy-fun was welcome after Sunday night's viewing of Mean
Girls (2004). This one was Lisa's choice. The film is a
mixed bag, but better than I expected. I just don't get the
whole Lindsay
Lohan thing. I mean, there's nothing wrong with her, I just
don't see the overwhelming appeal. Of course I could have been
blinded by the magical glow emitted by the film's screenwriter
and co-star, the magical goddess-come-to-earth, Tina
Fey.
Ahh, Tina
Fey...
Saturday,
May 28: Star Wars Weekend
Yesterday
was my birthday. I always go to the movies on my birthday, so
this year I went and saw fellow birthday boy Christopher
Lee in Star
Wars: Revenge of the Sith. I'm probably the last person
on the planet to see this film, so I won't go on too long here,
except to say that I really liked it. Granted, after the last
two prequels, expectations were pretty low. The film is far
from perfect, but I have to admit, that despite one misstep
during a crucial dramatic scene, I truly enjoyed the movie.
Happy
Birthday to Mr. Lee and thanks to everyone who came out to join
us in our little celebration last night. Friday's other birthdays
included: Vincent
Price, Siouxsie
Sioux, Harlan
Ellison, John
Cheever, Linnea
Quigley, Louis
Gossett Jr, Henry
Kissinger, André
3000 and Todd
Bridges.
Today, Lisa
and I watched all three films of the original
Star Wars trilogy. While Revenge
of the Sith is definitely not in the same league as Lucas
& company's first two films, it isn't much worse than the
severely flawed Return
of the Jedi. How's that for a ringing endorsement?
Thursday,
May 19: The Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking
While you
were all out seeing the
new Star Wars movie, I went to a lonely and empty theater
and saw the big-screen adaptation of Douglas
Adams' radio series, The
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005). If you haven't
seen it by now, you're probably waiting to check it out on DVD.
I'd like to recommend watching the 1981
BBC TV version instead. It uses most of the cast from the
original
radio series, in the roles that they created, and even though
it lacks the film version's snazzy special effects, it's much
more ambitious in its scope. It's also funnier, a better story
and already
out on DVD.
From this
Friday through Sunday, one of our favorite people, Angus
Scrimm will be appearing at Monster
Mania 3 in Cherry Hill, New Jersey. Lisa and I will be going
down on Saturday to visit with him. You should too, if you're
in the area. You can also see several other folks including
Michael
Berryman, Sid
Haig, Doug
Bradley (Pinhead from the Hellraiser
films), John
Saxon, Robert
Englund, Elvira
and a bunch more, including Dee
Snider!
Wednesday,
May 18: A long time ago...
Everyone
is all excited about the Revenge
of the Sith, so it seemed only right for tonight's movie
night be a Star Wars film festival. We started with a few parody
shorts...
Poor Laree
L. took a lot of heat for recommending Thumb
Wars: The Phantom Cuticle (1999). These "Thumb"
movies seem to have an audience, but I have no idea who they
are. All in attendance agreed that some the miniature sets were
pretty cool, but still gave this thing the finger.
Hardware
Wars (1977) is something of a midnight movie classic and
was probably the most enjoyed of the evening's short spoofs.
I particularly enjoyed the Darth Vader guy's performance.
The last
bit of "comedy" was R2-D2:
Beneath the Dome (2001). Yet another "True Hollywood
Story"-type parody, this one features mock-interviews with
almost the entire casts of all of the Star Wars films. The humor
is pretty lame, but there are some nice production clips and
stills to get the viewer through the thing.
The real
fun began with the first of two vintage documentaries on the
creation of the original trilogy: From Star
Wars to Jedi: The Making of a Saga (1985). I love this crap.
Despite its title, this one mainly focuses on the FX behind
Jedi. Much time is spent on the Muppet creatures in Jabba's
lair.
Finally,
we watched the original TV special that inspired so many of
us way back when: The
Making of 'Star Wars' (1977). It offers a nice slice of
nostalgia mixed with some great sequences of nuts and bolts
special effects work. A classic.
Now go
see the new movie. I won't be there, as I like to wait out the
crowd a bit before going to these things. You people make too
much noise during the feature for my taste.
Tuesday,
May 17
Monday,
May 9: The weekend that was
I'm not
sure what is in the minds of distribution companies like Miramax
and others, when they decide to release foreign hits like Ong
Bak, Hero, and Shaolin Soccer, so many months (often years)
after their target audience has already seen the film on video.
Any city with a Chinatown or any sort of discount video shop
has these types of titles readily available for a few bucks.
For everyone else, there's a little thing called the "internet"
where you can pick up a quality DVD release of almost any Asian
film for less than the price of a movie ticket in New York City.
Often these
films get new hip-hop soundtracks or re-edits, which are rarely
worth the wait. So rather than shell out $10.50 for a ticket
at the local megaplex, Lisa and I enjoyed a Hong Kong DVD of
Kung
Fu Hustle (2004) that Laree L. loaned us. It's a really
fun film. I'm not sure that it lived up to all of the hype,
but my lady friend seemed to really enjoy it.
A little
later in the evening, I popped in a copy of the Justice
League of America (1997) TV-movie. It was produced as a
pilot for a TV series, and it's no surprise the show was never
picked up. This thing is pretty awful. The costumes are awkward
and the characterizations are goofy. Most of the Justice League
members live together in an apartment and have all sorts of
silly personal problems. It's just like "Friends"!
Except it's even less funny. The only real reason to check this
out is the bizarre casting choice of David
Ogden Stiers as J'onn J'onzz, the Martian Manhunter. Priceless.
Saturday
night, we watched one of Lisa's favorite films, Jesus'
Son (1999) staring Hollywood's leading deadbeat dad, Billy
Crudup. It's quite good. Denis
Leary turns in a surprisingly decent performance as a guy
who doesn't act anything like Denis Leary for a change.
Sunday we
watched a movie with Mandy
Moore in it. Didn't see that coming. Saved!
(2004) is nowhere near as subversive as the trailer would
suggest. It's much less John Waters and more John Hughes. Still,
I liked all but the last 20 minutes of it. And Mandy was really
good!
Wednesday,
May 4: Turkish Delights
Wednesday
night is movie night here at MonsterPants World Headquarters.
Laree L. requested a screening of the infamous Turkish Star
Wars, and we were more than happy to oblige him with a night
of Turkish delights.
Our first
film, 3
dev adam (1973), features three, count them -- three, costumed
superbeings: Santos, Captain America and Spider-man. But the
Spidey in this film doesn't spin a web of any size nor have
the proportionate strength of a spider. He isn't exactly a do-gooder,
either. This webhead is more inclined toward knifing people
or murdering them in more elaborate ways, one of which utilizes
killer Guinea pigs. Sounds like trouble, so our heroes, Santo
and Captain America have to band together to stop the evil wallcrawler.
Cap doesn't have his trademark shield here, but that's okay,
as it would only get in the way of the often amazing fight choreography
in this film.
The trademark
infringement in 3 Dev Adam is nothing compared to the outright
thievery going on in the cult classic, Dünyayi
kurtaran adam (1982) aka, The Turkish Star Wars. This action-packed
no-budget film not only illegally uses actual clips from Star
Wars as its own special effects, but it lifts music from Raiders
of the Lost Ark, Flash Gordon, Planet of the Apes and more.
Makes Ed
Wood look like Stanley
Kubrick.
I continue
to set myself up for crushing disappointment as I eagerly await
the release of the
final Star Wars film. In honor of its release, my first
two recommendations for this month feature cast members from
the original trilogy and the new prequels.
Representing
the cast of the original Star
Wars (1977), we have Frankenstein
and the Monster from Hell (1974) directed by Hammer
Films' greatest director, Terence
Fisher. The film teams Star Wars' Grand Moff Tarkin (Peter
Cushing) with the guy behind Darth Vader's mask (no, I'm
not talking about Hayden Christensen, I'm talking about David
Prowse).
One of the
things that make the prequels bearable for me is the presence
of one of my horror heroes, Mr.
Christopher Lee in the part of Count Dooku. The
Wicker Man (1973) is one of his best films. By the way,
it's Mr. Lee's birthday on the 27th of this month. Okay. End
of Star Wars tribute.
If you're
looking for something a little less action-figure oriented,
try 8
1⁄2 Women (1999). I truly believe that this underrated
gem is Peter Greenaway's return to form.
Back to
the goofy stuff, if you haven't seen it already, Wild
Zero (2000) is required viewing. Staring Guitar
Wolf, this is THE Japanese rock n' roll zombie movie. Don't
let anyone tell you otherwise.
Finally,
you know I love Godzilla, but I've never recommended any of
his films here. Godzilla
Vs. Hedora (1971) is one of a big batch of movies featuring
the big G that have been recently released on DVD -- and it's
one of the craziest. It also has an environmentalist message,
from back when people cared about such things.
From
now until the end of the year there probably won't be as many
updates on this site as there has been, as we at MonsterPants
Movies are going into production on two films back-to-back,
Death
to the Automatons and Satan
Hates You. It's going to be a lot of work, so I won't have
as much time to watch movies or chit-chat with you people.
But please
stick around. All work and no play makes Jim even duller than
he normally is, so I will be taking in as many films as possible
and reporting back. In the meantime, please amuse yourselves
over in the forums.
