Wednesday, March 30 : The Man Called Scrimm

Tonight was Movie Night again at my house. The plan was that my friends and I were going to Watch a "Cowboy & Indians" double feature. But I had just finished work on a "making-of" featurette for the DVD release of my film, The Off Season (2004), and wanted some feedback from the boys (who are all in it). Since we needed another movie to round out the night, I decided upon a new theme, a celebration of one Laurence Rory Guy -- Angus Scrimm.

He gives perhaps the best performance of his career in The Off Season, so the featurette gave us one half of our double feature. For our other film, I chose Mindwarp (1990), a post-apocalyptic sci-fi adventure produced by Fangoria, starring Bruce Campbell and Angus.

The film takes place, for the most part, in some subterranean caverns reminiscent of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986). It's better-than-average than what you'd expect from the genre, era and budget. There are some really outrageous gross-out moments. It is a Fangoria f ilm after all.

Unfortunately Angus doesn't really show up until almost the end of the film. His character is pretty twisted and our man plays it to the hilt. It's also during the film's climax that Campbell really turns it on and does what he does best.

Many in attendance were a little disturbed to see Mr. Scrimm tear out the eye of a poor young girl. We'd forgotten that he's famous for being a villain. To us, he's just the sweetest man on Earth. Cheers to Angus!

 

Monday, March 29 : And Now the Screaming Starts...

Man, Rubber's Lover (1997) is one noisy movie. After the initial 10 or 15 minutes of exposition, everybody in the films starts screaming. The sounds of human agony don't stop until almost the final frame. It's another hysterical futuristic piece from director Shozin Fukui, this time shot in stark black and white. The film is beautiful. It's what I wish all films looked like, grainy and obscure.

The movie is the story about a group of truly mad scientists as they perform sadistic experiments on humans using drugs and torture. Somehow this is supposed to cause the subject to develop telekinetic powers, usually with messy results.

Rubber's Lover is really great viewing. But I recommend watching it with your finger on the volume control, especially if you have the kind of neighbors who like to call the police.

 

Sunday, March 27 : Hipity Hopity

You may be surprised to hear this, but it is on very rare occasions that my television finds itself tuned to the entertainment black hole that is the SciFi Channel. A classic Twilight Zone marathon -- I'm there. But the remainder of their programming -- movies that have been edited-for-television and then packed with commercial breaks and brainless cheapie original programming, does nothing for me. Normally I love low-budget genre films (look at this site!) but there's an empty and lifeless blandness to the cable channel's acquisitions that really puts me off. The stuff is never "so bad it's good", but rather, so bad that I'm changing the channel.

But, like most of you, I love Bruce Campbell, so today I had to watch a recording of the SciFi Channel's original movie, Alien Apocalypse (2005). Bruce plays an astronaut who returns from space after a forty-year mission to find that the Earth has been taken over by aliens. These giant insect-men have exterminated the majority of the human race and enslaved the rest, forcing them to clear-cut the forests and wear really bad wigs & fake beards.

Despite the tired story of the astronaut hero leading the human rebellion, the movie is watchable. Campbell is in every scene and it's his charisma that keeps the thing alive. The alien creatures are pretty good, a combination of puppetry and CGI work. We see a fair amount of them and they have some nice moments where they bite some humans heads off. Literally.

Also, in celebration of the Holy Day, Lisa and I watched Trembling Before G-d (2001), a documentary about homosexual Orthodox Jews.

 

Friday, March 25 : Lone Wolf

Watching Bakko Yokaiden Kibakichi (2004) it never occured to me that the that the film was made in the 21st century. Shot on a modest budget and utilizing old-fashioned special effects technology, the movie has the feel of Japanese Samurai and Fantasy films made from 1960-1992.

Set in 18th century Japan, it's the story of a wandering swordsman traveling where humans wage war against the Yokai, monsters disguised as humans. The swordsman settles down in a casino town run by the Yokai. Humans attack the benevolent monsters and the violence begins.

The film features many of the mythical Japanese monsters seen in the Yokai Monsters series, including the Kappa, the two-headed woman, some sort of cyclops thing and more. The creatures are slightly more detailed in this newer film, but no more realistic than their 1960's counterparts. But that's part of the fun. There are several hilarious and over-the-top dismemberment sequences as our hero unsheathes his blade and a great monster fight at the end. Oh, did I mention that the swordsman is also a werewolf?

Thanks to Dan F for the discs.

 

Thursday, March 24 : News...

I didn't see any movies today, but I was very pleased to see that Ryan Rotten at The Horror Channel was kind enough to mention some of my current projects on their news page. Read it if you care...

 

Wednesday, March 23 : Barbarian Night!

I've started having my friends over for Wednesday Movie Nights again. I'd invite more of you over, but my living room just isn't that big. Tonight was "Barbarian Night".

You wouldn't think that a "An epic from the dark ages about the legendary lost tribe of warrior women" wearing leather thongs would ever be dull to a room full of dorky men, but Amazons (1986) was a bit of a drag. For every minute of high-flying action or cheesy sorcery effects here, there are five more of people sitting around engaged in empty chatter. Though I must admit that Joseph Whipp's performance as the evil sorcerer did manage breathe a little life in to the evening.

Our second film was Lucio Fulci's Conquest (1983). I've already written about this film here, but let me say again how great this movie is. It's insane. And so many different monsters! I particularly love the "cobweb men" or whatever the hell they were. Conquest was a big hit with all in attendance.

 

Tuesday, March 22 : Enemies Forever...

I've read that Immortal Enemy (2003) was a big hit in its native Thailand. I can see why. Despite the tired old "ancient supernatural being obsessed with a modern woman who is reincarnation of his former love" plot, the film really keeps one guessing. Perhaps it's just that the Thai take on the vampire legend is different than ours in the west, or maybe it's that the film doesn't sweat the details in order to keep the action moving. As a viewer, I often found myself wondering "What is going on here?" but never remained confused for very long. In most cases, the movie had already switched gears, causing me forget my confusion and enjoy the action.

Immortal Enemy is a modest special effects movie. Some of the "morphing" effects are a tad cheesy, while some of the other animations are quite impressive, including some bats that are almost as good as those in The Roost ! There are plenty vampires in the film, along with a number of zombies -- giving the movie a pretty decent monster count. The often inappropriately cheery synth score sounds like it was lifted from an old Legend of Zelda video game. There are also some genuinely zany moments that only add to the weird atmosphere of the film. It's an odd (sometimes baffling) ride that should keep you guessing and entertained.

 

Monday, March 21 : Catching up...

I've fallen way behind this week on reporting my movie intake. Before I begin, let'sall say "hello" to Larry F, Glenn and everyone else over in Iceland working on Larry's new film, The Last Winter (2005), starring Ron Perlman and James LeGros. For more with Ron and James Check out this month's "You will Watch" recommendations over there on the left. See? I don't just pull these things out of my butt...

Now back to ME. Here's the poop:

Wednesday (March 16) was supposed to be the first Movie Night that I've had at my house with my friends in months, but we had to cancel it. I'm not entirely sure why, something about Don being out of town and Dave's personal relationship with Jesus. I guess we'll be having "Barbarian Night" next week...

Instead, I saw The Mansion of Madness (1972) AKA Dr. Tarr's Torture Dungeon. The film is directed by Juan Lopez Moctezuma and in many ways resembles the work of Alejandro Jodorowsky. It's no coincidence, since the two had worked together previously. Mansion of Madness isn't a straightforward horror film like Moctezuma's better known Alucarda (1978). It's really a tour around a run-down insane asylum where the inmates are in charge. But the movie has plenty of horrific moments and nightmarish imagery amongst its social commentary. The film features Claudio Brook, who you can see alongside Ron Perlman this month when you watch Cronos (1993).


On Thursday (St., Patrick's Day), I watched Something Weird's disc of the somewhat tame (for Herschell Gordon Lewis) She-Devils on Wheels (1968).

Friday (March 18): I've been avoiding seeing Super Size Me (2004) for the same reason that I haven't read Fast Food Nation -- I love junk food! I know it's bad for me, I just don't need the gory details. I don't have any real dangerous vices, so allow me eat my Tub of popcorn with butter-flavored topping in peace! Anyway, finally seeing this movie didn't turn me away from junk food at all. The film is well made but, in my humble opinion, states the obvious. It only just made me hungry and maybe think about exercising more.

Sunday morning (March 20) I sat through Dreamcatcher (2003), which was on cable. I try to keep things positive here, but this movie is unbearably awful, so I'll stop there. If you can't say anything nice...

 

Tuesday, March 15 : Drac Attack!

In the current issue of Rue Morgue magazine, columnist Chris Alexander spends an entire page defending his love for director Jesus Franco. As Alexander reminisced about the Eurotrash auteur's career, he made me think me of a film that I had always meant to watch, but could never commit to, due to how reputedly bad it is.

That film is Count Dracula (1970). On paper, it sounds like it would be an amazing film -- the most true-to-the -source adaptation of Bram Stoker's famous novel, helmed by this cult director, with genre veteran Herbert Lom as Van Helsing, madman Klaus Kinski as Renfield and the Prince of Darkness himself, Christopher Lee as Dracula!

Well, for starters, the film is not "exactly" like the book, despite what the on screen introduction says. It strays far from the course about half way through, as if the production ran out of steam. No big deal -- it's just disappointing as it had been a longtime dream of Lee's to portray the Count as Stoker describes him in the novel.

The are a few hokey moments, most involving animals. The bats are ridiculous, but nowhere near as silly as the "killer taxidermied beasts" scene. Other than that, I think viewers who don't like the film probably just find it dull. But honestly, I found it no less exciting than many minor Hammer efforts, and though nowhere near as well-crafted, it flies compared to Herzog's Nosferatu (1979) remake with Kinski.

Speaking of that old nut, his Renfield is somewhat disappointing here, only because it's so subdued. Kinski plays the lunatic as a truly disturbed individual, rather than the cartoonish scene-stealer that other actors make him.

Anyway, even if confessed Franco-fan Chris Alexander finds Count Dracula boring, I liked the film. Then again, I love Christopher Lee and I am said to be the most patient movie watcher in the world. I'd have to be with some of the stuff that I see.

Sticking with Jesus (as I always do, I assure you) and old Vlad, I took a gander at Dracula Prisoner of Frankenstein (1972). This one's not based on any literary work -- I doubt there was even a script! But what it lacks in coherence and structure, it more than makes up for in cheap, garish thrills. Not only do we get the evil doctor and count from the title -- but also a few other vampires, the Frankenstien monster and the Wolfman! What more could you ask for? A plot, you say? You're in the wrong place, buddy.

 

Monday, March 14 : Sad Music for Sadder Clowns

I always feel inspired whenever I see a Guy Maddin film. The Saddest Music in the World (2003), his biggest and most accessible production to date, is no exception. I like to think of this film as Maddin's take on Enter the Dragon (1973), as musicians from around the world gather to square off in a competition where the winner takes all.

The MGM DVD contains some great making-of featurettes that are almost more enjoyable than the film itself. Many secrets of this mad Canadian genius' process are revealed and will hopefully inspire more filmmakers to create interesting work of art on their own terms.

Musical genius Tiny Tim may have been a performer, but he certainly was no actor and Blood Harvest (1987) is the proof. But it's his terrible performance that makes what otherwise might have been a lackluster film so bizarre. Set in rural Wisconsin, Tiny sticks out like a sore thumb amongst the other citizens of this farming community -- and that's BEFORE he puts on the clown make-up! Nothing else in this film makes a whole lot of sense either, but that's what makes Blood Harvest so entertaining. Watch with friends and laugh until the cows come home.

 

Sunday, March 13 : Going Down?

How could I possibly resist a film with a name like Hellevator? That's actually just the name the American distributor gave it. The film is actually called Gusher No Binds Me (2004). Gee, I wonder why they felt the need to change it for the US?

The film takes place in a futuristic world where everyone lives underground and travels between city layers in giant elevators, the way we do in trains and buses. A disturbed girl with psychic powers finds herself trapped in one of these lifts, with a mixed group of commuters, including two convicted criminals.

More often than not, these "let's save money by setting the entire film in one confined space" films don't work for me, but Gusher rocks! It avoids being talkie or feeling like a theater piece. The director manages to really open the little movie up by using flashback sequences sparingly, but effectively. This is a really well-written and finely crafted film. See it.

I also saw today Andoromedeia (1998), a theatrical vehicle for J-Pop Idol musical group "Speed" and the boy band "Da-Pump". Not the sort of mainstream fare one expects from director Takashi Miike. It's that old "scientist brings back dead child in cybernetic form" story done in the most conventional way. Miike fans may still want to see it, as such a "normal" film from this prolific director is indeed an oddity.

 

Friday, March 11 : From Russia with Blood

Night Watch (2004) is THE big-budget blockbuster effects movie from Russia. The plot of this horror/adventure movie is a familiar one these days: unbeknownst to us mere mortals, two supernatural armies wage an age-old war around us. The film isn't as action-packed as its Hollywood cousins Underworld (2003) or Blade II (2002), because the war between the vampiric shapeshifters in Night Watch isn't as straightforward as the battles in those other films. Conflict here is restricted by an uneasy truce, policed by a hypocritical bureaucracy run by the forces of Light. I think it's a slightly more realistic view of war than the black-and-white good-vs.-evil fantasy that keeps many of us cozy at night.

In the modern blockbuster tradition, Night Watch is the first in a planned trilogy of films, the second of which is promoted in the end credits of this film.

For tonight's late night viewing, I chose The Witchmaker (1969). The first half of the movie is an unremarkable story about a group of the dullest, most serious and verbose people ever, as they spend a week in a remote cabin studying psychic phenomena. Girls are being murdered, witchcraft and quicksand are mentioned and the women wander around at night in their lingerie.

The film eventually picks up and becomes much more colorful as the thuggish warlock, Luther the Berserk, magically summons his coven of notorious witches and wizards from throughout history for a Black Mass. Lucifer is worshiped, pigs blood is sipped and a demonic statue has things put in its mouth. Hail Satan!

 

Thursday, March 10 : Night of the Manimals

Filippino auteur Eddie Romero does it again with The Twilight People (1973). It's a delightful little time-killer that combines elements of The Island of Dr. Moreau (1977) with The Most Dangerous Game (1932). Two great movies in one! Our hero, John Ashley, has to stop a mad scientist from creating his army of animal-men while also being pursued by the doctor's hunting-crazed bodyguard (who, I swear, is Barbara Stanwyck in men's clothing).

Pam Grier is here, doing Romero a huge favor in a non-speaking role as the panther woman. All of the ani-men costumes are pretty lame, but I did enjoy the Antelope Man. Of all of the fur-laden actors, only Grier and the actor who plays the noble Bat-man make any real attempt to convince us of their animal nature. No easy task when you're wearing a bath mat. Despite the current of mediocrity that runs through the majority of the movie, the film does an about face at the very end and delivers very satisfying conclusions to both plotlines.

Now that I've seen the werewolf prequel Gingers Snaps Back: The Beginning (2004), I can safely say that I really enjoyed every film in this series. I'm sad to see these two cursed sisters go. This film, which takes place in 1800's, attempts to explain the origin of the werewolf in America, by tying it to the Native American myth of the Wendigo. But don't be expecting a history lesson, as the movie doesn't bog itself down trying to really sell you on the period setting. The characters all speak in contemporary English and the Native American characters seem to have stepped out of a comic book. The priority here is telling a good werewolf story and the film succeeds at that.

Insomnia struck once again, so I turned to Deborah Kerr and The Innocents (1961) for late night company. This is an eerie and disturbing film based on Henry James' The Turn of the Screw. The period film is loaded with atmosphere courtesy of cinematographer (and future Hammer film director) Freddie Francis. The apparitions here are so creepy and effective that I never got to sleep.

 

Wednesday, March 9 : Terror of the Autons

From the age of ten to some point in my late teens, I was a rabid fan of the BBC series "Doctor Who" (1963). Though I really haven't watched the show much as an adult, I was excited to hear about the new "Doctor Who" series, starring Christopher Eccleston, premiering this March. Uber-nerd (that's the pot calling the kettle black!) Dan F. has been keeping me up to date on the series' progress, including the sad news that there are currently no plans for it to show here in the US. So when my man sent me the news item about the "leak" of the pilot episode onto the internet, I couldn't control myself.

Now if a show is really awful, you can usually tell right away. But it's often pretty hard to judge a fairly decent one by first episode. I have to say that I liked what I saw. There was lots of action, the return of classic villains -- the Autons, and redesigned Tardis interior that I thought was pretty cool. Christopher Eccleston as The Doctor is a bit goofy at times, but overall, he does a good job a capturing the essence of this ever-changing character. This Doctor definitely a man of action, although he does rely an awful lot on his sonic screwdriver. Yes, I just typed "sonic screwdriver" -- you can come back tomorrow if this is all too dorky for you.

Anyway, old fans may be bothered by this new Doctor's choice of a contemporary wardrobe, rather than some odd Victorian costume, but it didn't really bother me. Clothes don't make the man, in my book. The only problems that I had with the show were some of the lamer slapstick comedy moments. I won't go into details, as I don't want to ruin it for people. Other than that, there were a few scenes in the show that felt a little bit cheesy or silly, but there was plenty of that in the original series as well.

Rumor has it that the episode leak was a promotional ploy of the BBC's to generate interest in a US sale. If that's true, I hope it works.

 

Tuesday, March 8 : Horror Heroes

In 1997, my friend Dave had been directing a lot of music videos. He hired me to write a narrative for one along with a promotional comic book to go with the band's CD release. When the actual shoot came around, I got to work on the crew. One of the locations we were shooting at was a house in Studio City, CA, where screen legend Claude Rains once lived. It was a pretty cool old place, with a sort of gothic castle motif. The current occupant was Rains' daughter, exploitation film producer and actor, Jessica Rains. The singer in the band was Claude Rains' granddaughter.

The surviving Rainses were amused to hear that I did all of my writing on the project at my desk at home, over which hung a framed Invisible Man (1933) poster. I don't know what became of the band. Their music wasn't really to my taste, but they were all very kind and charming people. I'm told that the song was a big hit in South America. If you'd like, you can watch some excerpts from music video here.

So I've been having trouble sleeping lately, so I've been using some old films as tranquilizers. The Italian sci-fi cheapie, Battle of the Worlds (1961), starring Mr. Rains, did the trick two nights in a row. I watched the remainder of it tonight. It features some of those old-time rocketship effects (which you know I love) and some of the crappiest alien world sets I've ever seen. The whole film is built around Rains' performance as a crotchety scientist. The only real coherent scenes in the film are his, the rest seems like it was made up on the spot.

Having finished the Claude Rains film, I moved on to I, Monster (1971), starring Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, Richard Hurndall and Mike Raven. Man, I wish I had a cool name like "Mike Raven!" The film is one of the more faithful adaptations of The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde I've seen, aside from the names of main character(s) being changed to "Dr. Marlowe and Mr. Blake". The film adds several elements and scenes that are not in Robert Louis Stevenson's story, but It's all just a bit of lurid padding. Lee does a nice job Jekyll/Marlowe in a performance that seems inspired by Fredric March's classic interpretation.

I don't have a personal anecdote about Christopher Lee (I wish I did), although we both have the same birthday as Vincent Price.

 

Stardate : March 6 : Final Frontier or Final Exit?

In an attempt to shame myself out of this run of watching almost exclusively science fiction movies, Lisa and I watched Trekkies (1997) and the sequel, Trekkies 2 (2004). I had seen the first one before and had enjoyed it.

With Trekkies 2, it was nice to see where the main players from the first film are seven years later -- Denise Crosby is still milking her association with a show she quit in its first season (I'm kidding, I love her); "Commander" still works at the copy shop and introduces us to one of her friends who's even nuttier than she is; And thankfully, that obnoxious little fourteen-year-old bastard with the uniform fetish seems to have learned from seeing himself on film, and has actually turned out relatively okay. If only the same could be said for his father... Sadly the filk-singing cross-dresser from the first film doesn't appear in the sequel. But you can't have everything.

Watching the two movies back-to-back, I was struck by how often the topic of suicide comes up. There's a lot of the "If I didn't have Star Trek, I would have killed myself years ago" or "I got a letter from a suicidal fan, but Star Trek helped her through it" or "Star Trek is the only thing that keeps me going" sort of stuff being said. Interestingly enough, when asked about the future of the show, the general consensus amongst the fans was that that the best thing for Star Trek would be for Paramount to stop making Star Trek. I'm guessing it won't be long before they get their wish. Set phasers on "kill".

 

Thursday, March 3 : My List of Demands...

Welcome to March. Okay, I'm a few days late, but I've had a busy week and haven't done much movie-watching. On Tuesday Chris G. and I went to a Danzig show in order to see the "surprise" reunion of Danzig and Doyle as they tore through a ton of Misfits songs. It was awesome.

Wednesday, Lisa and I watched Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation (2004) on cable. I don't really have much to report on this one. Aside from a couple segments tacked on at the beginning and end of the film, this single set-bound sequel completely abandons the ironic and satirical tone of the first film. Lisa claimed it was the worst movie she ever saw. I doubt that's true. Then again, she hasn't seen Battlefield Earth -- yet.

Tonight I watched Voyage to the Planet of Prehistoric Women (1968), but more on that in a moment...

Look! Up there on the left! It's the list of movies that I want you to watch in March! This month Coffin Joe and I insist that you watch Times Square (1980). This is a rock n' roll film that I used to watch over and over again on late night TV in the 80's. Robin Johnson & Trini Alvarado star as a couple of runaway teen rebels rocking the mean streets of NYC. Tim Curry, back when he was still considered sort of cool, plays an enigmatic DJ playing some great songs from the era. Somewhere I have the soundtrack on vinyl.

Phantasm II (1988) isn't the worst sequel to Coscarelli's classic, nor is it the best. It was the last of the series to get nationwide theatrical distribution. Released 11 years after the first film, I seem to remember it getting a lot of press at the time. It's the only film in the series in which Michael Baldwin doesn't appear. The character of Mike is played by James LeGros this time out. Angus is back, as is our man Reggie, who really kicks some other-dimensional butt in this one.

One of those rare occasions in which Ron Perlman isn't forced to play some sort of monster of freak, is Cronos (1993), his first collaboration with director Guillermo del Toro. This is a wonderful film, combining elements of horror, fantasy and sentimentality. This vampire movie is required viewing in order to make your life complete.

Considered by some to be the second-best Russian science fiction film, Planeta Burg (1962) (aka Planet of Storms) has all of the classic elements that come to mid when thinking of space opera films of the 50's & 60's. It has beautiful rocketship effects, space walk sequences, bubble-helmeted astronauts, a floating space car, rubber monsters and one of film's finest robots. The U.S. rights to the film were bought by Roger Corman who then chopped it up to make two separate (although almost identical) films, Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet (1965) & Voyage to the Planet of Prehistoric Women (1968). Both movies make use of the majority of the prime effects footage from the Russian film. "Planet" succeeds far better as a straight adventure story (it also has more scenes with the robot!) than "Women", where the inter-cutting of new and old footage is much more obvious and often jarring. But the resulting film ("directed" by Peter Bogdanovich) come across very dreamlike and almost surreal. Both the Corman films are widely available as budget DVD's. I've seen the original Planeta Burg on VHS from several of the vendors listed on the left in the past. BijouFlix offers a Planet of Storms DVD, but I have no idea what sort of quality it is.

Finally, of all of the movies we've watched during my Wednesday night get-togethers with my friends, none have gone over anywhere near as well as Deafula (1975). Imagine if Ed Wood made a vampire movie for the hearing impaired -- entirely in sign language! This unintentionally hilarious movie is amazing! There's an unofficial, subtitled (for those of you who don't know sign language!) DVD of the film floating around out there somewhere. Seek it out.

 

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