Sunday,
July 31: I can taste your back!
I'm just
catching up on the last week or so. Not much to report, as I've
been spending most of my time working to bring you folks a
new robot movie...
I think
it was last Thursday when I watched Sixteen
Tongues (2004), Scooter
McCrae's shot-on-video, sexual sci-fi opus that was seven
years in the making. Although reviewers have spoke of its Blade
Runner-type setting, don't expect that film's level of production
values, nor even those of the similarly-themed I.K.U.
(2000).
The movie
is a very modest no-budget outing that takes place entirely
in a dingy sex hotel where a couple of futuristic freaks meet
up. One's a cop with sixteen skin grafts on his body, and yes,
they are dead people's tongues. The other is a genetically engineered
sex-slave/assassin with a clitoris under each of her eyelids.
She likes to blink.
This crazy
set up actually leads to a lot more talks than action. Viewers
who enjoyed McCrae's underground hit, Shatter
Dead (1994), will have to be even more patient with this
new film. Its very slowly paced and not as dirty as its reputation
would lead you to believe. But it's a cool concept and the film
features some really great makeup effects.
Friday night
was my date with George
Hamilton, Suzanne
Pleshette and Yvonne
De Carlo in a George
Pal production of The
Power (1968). Science Fiction suspense ensues as the young
and serious Hamilton pursues a psychic killer. Not one of Pal's
best films, but entertaining nonetheless.
On Saturday
Laree L. and I worked all day at the studio, getting things
ready for the big Automatons shoot. We watched a few DVD's that
we picked up at the 99 cent store: Hercules
Vs. the Moon Men (1964), The
Magic Sword (1962) and the edited down to feature length
version of The
Phantom Empire (1935). I didn't give the films my full attention,
so I'll refrain from making any comments. Later that night my
better half and I watched everybody's favorite film from last
year, Sideways
(2004).
Sunday,
July 24: Don't Drink the Water
I was pretty
busy this weekend working on stuff for The
Automatons project, so I haven't had time to add anything
new here until now. I did manage to squeeze in some movie viewing,
however. So here's the round up:
On Friday,
I took a long lunch to go see the incredibly mediocre Fantastic
Four (2005). I thought the movie's portrayal of Doctor Doom
was really weak, but I did like The Thing.
Later that
evening, the little lady and I watched the DVD of the new and
fairly inoffensive, Dawn
of the Dead (2004). I had already seen it, but she hadn't.
My main motive for watching the DVD was seeing the bonus material
penned by our friend and zombie
survival expert, Max Brooks.
I finally
broke away from the mainstream on Saturday with a viewing of
Maya
(1989). This south-of-the-border, low-budget horror film
is really just a series of gory deaths. There's no plot to speak
of here. It almost feels as if the script were written by children
who had seen horror films and knew what elements they consisted
of, but had no idea of how to tell a story. There are a couple
of feeble attempts to tie the murders to a legendary Mayan Death
God, but it kind of gets lost in the jumble.
The film's
lack of direction adds to the dreamlike atmosphere that's fairly
typical to Italian horror. The score consists of a mix of some
mock-Goblin synth and some Latin American instrumentation. Pointless,
but gory and atmospheric.
On to Sunday:
I forgot
that I had already seen Dead
& Buried (1981) many years ago, until I began watching
it tonight. It's another gore-filled film, this time set in
a coastal town in New England. Being from a coastal town in
Maine, I always have to wonder what it is that people find so
frightening about these places. Then again, small towns in the
South scare the snot out of me.
Anyway,
Stan
Winston very effectively provides the messy stuff here.
Robert
Englund has a small part as one of the oddball villagers.
And Melody
Anderson, who you may remember as Dale Arden in Flash
Gordon (1980), is oddly appealing as the protagonist's corny
wife.
The film
is often silly and dated, but manages to come through with some
genuinely twisted and frightening moments. To many horror fans
this film is considered a minor modern classic. It's strange
that it has managed to slip through the cracks for so many years.
But you can get it now, thanks to Blue
Underground.
Thursday,
July 21: Part Man, Part Devil
My favorite
creation by Japanese comics god Go Nagai is easily Devilman.
This demonic superhero has taken many forms over the past thirty
of so years, through comic books and a cartoon series in the
1970's to the adult-themed anime revivals of the 1980's and
90's.
Devilman
(2004) was our hero's live-action feature film debut. Although
the Japanese DVD of this film has been out for a while, I've
been waiting patiently for one with English subtitles for months.
It came in the mail yesterday and I watched it immediately.
For the
record, most people HATE this film. I guess it's mainly due
to the video game-style CG animation and the liberties the film
takes with the Devilman story.
Yes, the
big digital effects action sequences are disappointing. But
Devilman himself looks pretty cool. And I think that the story
actually does a nice job of combining elements from all of this
character's incarnations.
The one
thing I will agree with the film's detractors is the acting.
The two male leads are nothing to write home about and international
sports star Bob Sapp's performance as a newscaster is amateurish
at best.
Still, I
loved this movie. It has a great apocalyptic feel and a few
interesting subplots. Give it a chance. Come on, it's Devilman!
Wednesday,
July 20: Canada = Terror!
See
our friend Glenn
McQuaid's short film, The
Resurrection Apprentice (2005), when it opens for Ti
West's The
Roost (2005) today, July 20th at Fantasia
2005!
Tuesday,
July 19: Let My Puppets Come
A bit more
graceful than the ones created by Gerry
Anderson and parodied by the South Park guys, are the marionettes
that star in the Danish film, Strings
(2004).
Like Legend
of the Sacred Stone (2000), this is a fantasy-action movie
that takes place in a world of puppets. Here the characters
acknowledge the strings that lead from their bodies and into
the skies and have all but based a religion around them. They
are the threads that give them life, and if they are cut, the
puppets die.
Once you
get past the film's cheesy Broadway show title and the pretentious
opening credits sequence, it's a pretty decent bit of light
fantasy in the vein of The
Dark Crystal (1982) or Willow
(1988).
The puppets
and sets are really cool to look at, but the battle scenes are
less than spectacular. Still, Strings is a well-made curiosity
that will appeal to kids as well as adults
who read Harry Potter books.
Monday,
July 18: Vicious Little Bastards
I wonder
if I've lost the ability to fall asleep? I was up almost all
night again. But that's really not such a bad thing, as it gives
me time to watch movies!
Known by
several other names over the years, including "Island of
the Damned", is the eerie horror thriller, Who
Can Kill a Child? (1976). This is one of two films that
I coincidentally watched tonight that deals with childbearing.
This film
is sort of a cross between Village
of the Damned (1960) and The
Birds (1963). That's a great hybrid, if done well, and with
this film it is.
An expectant
couple go to a small island town on vacation only to find that
the local kids have slaughtered all of the adults. It seems
that they've had it with children always paying the greatest
price when adults wage their wars. So they've come up with the
perfect way to end war -- kill the grown ups! This film is moody,
atmospheric and just as relevant now as it was thirty years
ago. Seek it out.
Arrebato
(1980) is an art horror film about drugs, insanity, filmmaking
and the supernatural. It's a slowly paced oddity that gets even
stranger in the last half hour. What else would you expect from
a horror movie in which the vampire is a super 8 camera? It's
a cool little film that reminded me a little of Larry F's Habit
(1997). It's something of a classic, but not for everyone.
I've learned
to avoid sequels to Asian horror hits, as I do with follow-up
films from the west. I saw the Pang
Brothers' The
Eye (2002) in the theater a few years back and loved it.
Considering the lunatic in the audience who was yelling at the
screen, smoking in the theatre and trying to sit near me (in
the almost empty house) because "he knew he was going to
be afraid", that's quite a compliment.
I enjoyed
the film so much that I picked up a copy of the The
Eye 2 (2004) in Chinatown last December. But because of
my bias against horror sequels, it's just been sitting on the
shelf, unwatched. The disc finally made it into the player tonight.
I really only decided to final watch this sequel because it
was also made by the Brother Pang and, more importantly, it
stars the always adorable Shu
Qi.
Actually,
she's not so adorable in this movie, as she's always crying
or vomiting. But that's a good thing. Her performance as a miserable
and suicidal pregnant woman is one of her best and helps to
carry this creepy little gem.
Overall,
I'm going to go so far as to say that The Eye 2 is as frightening,
if not more so than its a predecessor. In fact, it's probably
a better film all around. And it's got Shu Qi!
Sunday,
July 17: Shameful
Shame on
anyone who didn't go see John
Waters' sexual hygiene film, A
Dirty Shame (2004). Not that anyone could really blame you
if you didn't, as it was in the theaters for mere seconds and
burdened with an NC-17 rating.
Why it got
an
NC-17 is beyond me. It's not violent, there's no actual
sex in it. There are only seconds of nudity. What's the big
deal? I'm not going to go into a long rant about freedom of
speech and the oppression of the conservative right here. That's
not what this site is about. All I will say is, "Thank
God for John Waters!"
When I was
a teen growing up in Maine in the dawn of the home video era,
my local video store had a "Cult" section. I guess
it was part of the package that the home office sent you when
you bought the video shop package, because I doubt anyone in
my little town asked for these movies. Of course, I devoured
them.
Starting
with Pink Flamingoes, it was Waters' movies that affected me
the most. I thought, "Here are the cool kids. These are
the people with a sense of (anti)style. They aren't trying to
impress anyone, but are out to offend everyone. And they're
FUNNY!" I've been a devoted fan ever since.
A Dirty
Shame is Waters' best film in years. It's got his usual wit
and charm as well a a relevant social message. See this film.
Don't go to Blockbuster
or WalMart
and get the chopped-down R-rated "Neuter Version".
That would defeat the purpose.
Go
get-- no. Go BUY the NC-17
theatrical version. Better yet, buy it as part of the new
John
Waters Collection Boxed set. You deserve it. Listen to Waters'
commentary tracks. They're almost as entertaining as the films
themselves. More importantly, support an artist who still has
the ability to shock the MPAA into giving an NC-17 based on
spoken content. Support an American treasure -- John Waters.
Saturday,
July 16: Highway to Hades
I was too
wound up to sleep tonight, so I tried a tranquillizer cocktail
consisting of a triple shot of evil.
My first
dose was a supernatural horror film from Thailand, Dark
Devil (2005). Every guy in this small village has the hots
for a woman that they can't have, so they all turn to a Cambodian
master of black magic to either knock out the competition or
curse the woman who spurned them.
One love
triangle in particular gets really ugly as the evil magician
tries his best to mess things up by making everything from swords
to scorpions fly into the stomachs of the happy couple. He is
aided by the third side of the triangle, a bitter local thug,
and the magician's zombie wife. It's up to a local holy man
and a traveling monk with a purse to save the day.
The acting
in this film is pretty terrible, but the cheesy special video
effects are worse. The jarring music score is made up of often
inappropriate karaoke tunes, stock music and tracks stolen outright
from James Bond and Star Wars films. But these are all good
things! These off-target elements only add to the charm of this
humble and entertaining film.
A real pleasant
surprise was the gruesome thriller for Japan, Living
Hell (2000). It's about a sadistically insane old woman
and her equally twisted granddaughter who worm their way into
people's homes and then brutally torture and kill the family
members who live there.
The movie
uses traditional Japanese horror conventions turned on their
ear to make a super-creepy and compelling film. The violence
here is more often implied than explicitly shown, which only
adds to the agony. The ending is a little bit of a letdown,
but the journey is a memorable one.
Finally,
I subjected myself to yet another low budget mess from Italy's
Umberto
Lenzi, Hell's
Gate (1989).
Dear Umberto,
Please don't promise me the gate to Hell and give me a 90 minutes
of people wandering around a series of tunnels.
This is
the one that finally put me to sleep.
Thursday,
July 14: The Fantastic Three
Although
I should know better, I am planning on going to see the new
Fantastic Four movie. I'm just not rushing out to the theater
with any high expectations. For now, I'll be staying at home
and taking in some less bloated costumed hero fare, like tonight's
selection, Three
Fantastic Supermen (1967).
Ah,1967...
When pop culture phenomena Batman & James Bond ruled the
world. Parodies and knock-offs of these franchises came in from
all over, but few so successfully blended the campy costumes,
superhero antics, hi-tech gadgetry and foxy femme fatales as
well as this film (one in a series) from Italy.
Our three
heroes, wearing red long underwear and capes that make them
invulnerable are: the quick-witted leader with an arm like a
rocket ("I used to pitch for the Dodgers"), an FBI
strongman, and a mute acrobat with combat moves that would make
Jackie Chan proud. They band together to battle an Ernst Blofeld/Auric
Goldfinger-type evil industrialist/scientist. Our villain's
goal: to take over the world of course!
Also involved
are a troop of sexy female professional criminals and more 1960's
kitsch than one could ever hope for. This sucker is highly recommended.
Bringing
us back to the "real world" (sort of) is the documentary
Satan
Rides the Media (2000). It tells the behind the 1993 murder
of Euronymous,
singer for the Black Metal band Mayhem.
Y' know,
when I was a kid I had a pet bunny named Euronymous...
Anyway,
It was the crime that launched a million urban myths about the
Norwegian Black Metal scene.The killer, Hobbit-obsessed Varg
Vikernes of the one-man band, Burzum,
is currently doing time for the crime.
The focus
of the film is how the local media went overboard on hyping
the story and its obsession with making the murder out to be
a "Satanic" act, despite the fact that Vikernes wasn't
a Satanist. In fact, he doesn't even believe in the devil!.
This documentary
is okay, but I'm still waiting for a definitive cinematic take
on this "True Crime" story.
Tuesday,
July 12: Shameless
Hey! Wanna
see a movie? The DVD for a film by me and the rest of the MonsterPants
crew, The
Off Season (2004), comes out on August 16th from Lion's
Gate Entertainment. It stars Christina
Campanella, TV's Don
Wood, Angus
Scrimm, Larry
Fessenden and some other talented folks. It's currently
available
for pre-order at Amazon.com.
If you're
familiar with the film, or at least the poster art that we've
been using (above, far right) please don't be confused by the
new box artwork (above, far left) that the distributor has given
the film's DVD release.
Just a quick
note: Despite what you may see on the DVD box cover, there is
NO hand reaching out of the ground nor is there a graveyard
in The Off Season.
But there is a motel and it is a ghost story.
Also, the
new Fangoria
(issue #245, with The Devil's Rejects on the cover), has a story
on page 28 about The Off Season by the one and only Jeremiah
Kipp.
End of commercial.
Saturday,
July 9: Where's William Katt?
This evening
I relaxed with a double feature. House
(1977) is probably the strangest production from Toho
Studios, and that's saying a lot. My friend Rich was looking
for a copy of this film, which I found and brought to him when
I went to LA last month. I didn't have a chance to watch it
until now and I'm happy to say that this movie lives up to its
reputation.
At first,
House appears to be a lighthearted children's movie about the
misadventures of a bunch of schoolgirls taking a trip. There's
breezy pop music, slapstick comedy, fanciful animated sequences
and painted backdrops.
But the
kid's film theory kind of goes out the window around minute
thirty-three. That's when a bloody disembodied head emerges
from a well, bites one of the girls on the ass and vomits out
some disgusting fluid. From there on, we're off, with the film
getting crazier and crazier as it races toward the finish.
Mixed with
the horror, gore and nudity are some of the same childish slapstick
moments from earlier in the film: A girl is smothered by mattresses
and bedclothes, another is eaten alive by a piano and a cat
does a dance. These colorfully nightmarish sequences are brought
to life using animation, cheap optical effects and cheesy props
creating a bizarre and memorable movie masterwork!
How do you
objectively view a film that's been hyped all over the genre
media when you finally see it for yourself? It's hard, but I
tried to keep my expectations in check when I watched The
Manson Family (2003). Previously screened before audiences
in an unfinished version as "Charlie's Family", there's
beena lot of buzz around this film for some time.
"Family"
is a great psychedelic collage that steps outside of the "true
crime story" formula while also acknowledging it. I have
to agree with many of the criticisms about the modern-day framing
sequence and can only add that I was also put off by some of
the terrible old-age makeup (a pet peeve of mine). But overall,
The Manson Family is an impressive achievement. For a much more
eloquent summary and review of the film, read
Jeremiah Kip's take here.
While working
on some model tests for our robot movie this afternoon, I watched
a few episodes from the "Hammer
House of Horror" (1980) DVD box set. I had seen many
of the episodes from this "Twilight Zone"-style TV
series from my British favorite horror film studio. Of the five
episodes that I watched, three stood out: "Rude Awakening"
with Denholm
Elliott, "The Silent Scream" with Hammer star
Peter
Cushing, and "The Thirteenth Reunion." Thanks
to Glenn for loaning this set to me.
Saturday,
July 2: A Boy and His Robot
Woke up
this morning with The
Invisible Boy (1957), starring one of the world's most famous
automatons, Robby
The Robot. The story chronicles the founding of NARBLA --
the North American Robot/Boy Love Association.
Young Timmie
gets no love whatsoever from his cold and distracted parents,
so he turns to Robby for affection. Unbeknownst to the kid,
he is at the center of a nefarious plot to overthrow mankind.
I loved
Robby in Forbidden
Planet (1956), but have been avoiding this film for years.
My mistake. This movie is far more watchable than I expected.
It's so much more than just the kiddie picture that it was marketed
as. The whole dysfunctional family storyline is pretty interesting,
much more so than the story of the adults trying to save the
planet. This is yet another great genre film that's being held
hostage in the MGM vaults and isn't out on DVD. A damn shame.
You see
him on this page, telling you what you're going to watch this
and every month. I see him every time I close my eyes. He's
José
Mojica Marins, aka Coffin Joe, master of the bizarrely macabre.
I relaxed
this afternoon by revisiting Awakening
of the Beast (1969), Maris' personal favorite of his films
and perhaps his most bizarre. I don't know how to describe the
plot, as there really isn't one. The first half film is a collection
of vignettes featuring drug abuse and sexual perversion.
For any
of you that haven't seen this film, I feel compelled to give
you a taste by describing the scene that immediately follows
the opening credits:
A pretty
girl is in a tiny room, not much larger than a closet. She is
surrounded by leering older men. She shoots some narcotic into
her foot, puts down the syringe and stands before the men. The
girl dances, as best she can in the confined space, to a psychedelic
anti-war song and removes her clothes. The men present her with
a wrapped gift. When the present is opened, it is revealed to
be a chamber pot. The girl smiles, squats over the pot and does
her business.
The next
forty-five minutes is filled with scenes like this, involving
rape, bestiality and more. They sell this DVD at Best Buy. I
love that.
The second
half of the film features Maris, playing his real-life self,
on a TV talk show. This somehow segues into a long acid trip
sequence, shot in lurid color. And -- well, I'm not going to
try to fully describe this thing. I could never do the movie
justice. If you love bizarre cinema and haven't seen this film,
do so now.
I also watched
the DVD of The
Harryhausen Chronicles (1998), a visual history of the influential
animator's work.
Friday,
July 1: Summer Reruns
It's been
six months that I've been doing this site and what have we got
to show for it?
For starters,
we have Sakuya:
Slayer of Demons (2000) the first movie I saw this month.
It's a fantasy from Japan about -- well, a slayer of demons
named Sakuya. There are more rubber suit monsters here than
you can shake a cursed sword at, including many updated versions
of the benevolent demons from the Yokai Monsters movies. Despite
the new costumes, many of them are even less convincing than
their predecessors. The exception is the Kappa demon, which
for once, looks menacing and not like Howard the Duck with mange.
There are some other, cooler evil demons featured in the film.
Look! Over
there! On the upper left -- under the picture of Coffin Joe!
Do those titles look familiar? For July's recommendations, I
decided to pick a few choice films from this site's first six
months.
Back in
January, I saw our friend John
Levene meet his end as a cop in Psychomania
(1971), the best vampire biker flick ever made. You can
see John again in the upcoming Satan
Hates You & Death
to the Automatons.
February
brought us two hits: The
American Astronaut (2001), from Cory
McAbee, and Cutie
Honey (2004), based on the character created by Go Nagai.
McAbee's film is a low-tech, black & white, sci-fi musical.
"Honey" is a sexy, sassy, Japanese, superhero delight.
Both are near-perfect bits of wonderment.
My pick
from March is another low-tech sci-fi film, Gusher
No Binds Me (2004). Known here in the states as the DVD
Hellevator,
this one's more serious than "Astronaut" and much
more violent.
And finally
from April, check out the Czech film Who
Wants to Kill Jessie? (1966). It's a comic strip come to
life, complete with a "Superman" and word balloons
that hang in the air.
I'm taking
the next day or two off from production, so you'll be hearing
more from me (and Coffin Joe) tomorrow.
