Wednesday,
August 31: Crack on You
The poster
for Kabrastan
(1988), featuring the screaming hand, is my favorite of
any for an Indian horror film. This should immediately make
one suspicious; the movie can't possibly be as cool as that
image -- it's probably as dull as sin (case in point: Joe Blockbuster's
reaction to The Off season DVD, but don't get me started).
Well Kabrastan
delivers the goods-- sort of. There's no screaming hand, of
course, and director Mohan
Bhakri chose not to show the monster in the film. But there
are plenty of other classic horror elements to enjoy: haunted
flying objects, zombies, holy water turning to blood, ghosts,
a sexy lady spirit, two grotesque transformations, a "Monster
Mash" style dance number and as few crazy dream sequences.
One nightmare in particular has the film's evil doctor being
attacked by the disembodied hearts of his victims!
The story
borrows many western horror conventions. It starts as a take
on the Frankenstein tale and then moves into Poltergeist, Amityville
horror and Evil Dead territory. Due to the fact that the Hindi
religion believes in the practice of cremating their dead, the
film takes place in an entirely Christian community. This gives
us the graveyard (the title of the film translated to English)
filled with buried corpses for the mad doctor to dig up as well
as one or two that get up on their own.
There's
a fairly new website
up promising a remastered DVD of the underground cult classic
Thundercrack!
(1977) starring Marion
Eaton and George
Kuchar. I have a European DVD that hasn't been remastered,
remixed, or re-anything. That’s what I watched this evening.
There are only a handful of prints of this film in existence,
so what I was looking at was pretty beat up and the audio was
so bad that I had to turn on the subtitles, but I imagine that
this is the same experience that most people have had when seeing
this film at various midnight showings over the years.
If you haven't
seen the film -- it's crazy. If John
Waters, Guy
Maddin and Andy
Milligan got together to make a horror porno film, it would
probably be a lot like Thundercrack! This movie is required
viewing for any fan of the bizarre, but definitely not for general
audiences. Known as "the most walked-out-of film of all
time", it mixes long scenes of ridiculous melodramatic
dialog with others of very explicit sex. Oh, and there's also
a killer Ape and a monster of sorts. The film’s running
time of 150-plus minutes will definitely try the patience of
many a viewer, but for the rest of us, films like Thundercrack!
are why we watch movies.
Tuesday,
August 30: Lust in Space
Bloodlust
(1992) starts out as a fairly serious vampire
caper film, but eventually it shows it's roots when it reveals
its loud and goofy sense of humor that almost every film from
the Continent Down Under seems to have. You know what I'm talking
about. You've seen it in early work of Peter Jackson, and movies
like Undead
(2003) and Young
Einstein (1988). It usually involves a lot of shouting and
less-than-attractive characters standing WAY to close to the
wide-angle lens of the camera.
Anyway,
aside from that, the film mixes blood, guts, and a lot of guns
with sex and social commentary to create a very ambitious effort
on a limited budget. Some of the actors are good, some are simply
awful, and the same can be said for the action and special effects.
But the good outweighs the bad and the film won me over, convincing
me that its shortcomings are really the movie's greatest charms.
Somehow
I got sucked into watching The
Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987) on cable. You remember these
things, right? They were trading cards that parodied the
Cabbage Patch Dolls. Each one of these kids had their own disgusting
character trait.
This movie
features Valerie Vomit, who builds the suspense in the film
by not actually puking until the movie's climax; Nat Nerd; who
wears a super hero costume, is covered in acne and wets himself
about every five minutes (my favorite); Greaser Greg, a child
version of Andrew Dice Clay; Windy Winston, a kid who farts
all of the time; Messy Tessie, who's covered in her own snot;
Foul Phil, a filthy infant and Ali Gator, a boy who looks like
an alligator (?).
I guess
the producers decided to keep the GP Kids number down to a seven
for budget reasons. It's revealed early on that there are a
lot more of these little bastards living out there somewhere
in the world. Our heroes make it their quest to go find them,
but don't seem too disappointed when they find out the government
crushed them all to death for being ugly. Yes, that's right
-- crushed to death. On purpose. In some sort of machine specially
designed for crushing ugly children.
Yes, this
is a family film. As you'd expect, the Kids perform a musical
number, start a bar fight and get drunk with some bikers. Really.
How old are these "kids" supposed to be, anyway?
Insomnia
was with me once again, so I turned to an old faithful ally
to help sing me to sleep. Of course, I'm speaking of one Al
Adamson. Tonight’s lullaby was his musical/ soft-core
porn / science fiction parody, Cinderella
2000 (1977). Imagine Galaxina
(1980) at about a tenth of the budget, and you get the picture.
The jokes are just as bad, but there's a lot more nudity and
pseudo-sex.
Oddly enough,
it's one of Adamson's more accomplished achievements. In this
tongue in cheek environment, his low budget and low rent aesthetic
don't hinder him. The acting is no worse, if not better than
many of his efforts. The songs are groovy and whoever is singing
them (the actors themselves?) aren't half-bad. Maybe old Uncle
Al missed his calling. Perhaps if he had kept to this sort of
thing, more than just folks like me would remember him more
fondly.
Sunday,
August 28: Forgive and Forget?
Takashi
Miike continues to make films faster than I can watch them.
And most of them are quite good! To that list of his greater
accomplishments, I add Izo
(2004), which I watched last night.
The title
character is a fallen ancient warrior. Damned to eternity as
a wandering spirit of vengeance, he randomly bounces through
various times and planes of human existence, killing everyone
in his path. He's a chaotic force, disrupting humanity's craving
for order and conformity.
Many find
this film's lack of conventional structure frustrating. I love
it. It’s the second half of the film, when things begin
to take shape that I felt could have used a little editing down.
Still, I feel that this is one of Miike's best efforts. It's
deeper and more challenging than a lot of his work. Yeah, this
is a good one.
Takashi
Shimizu's American version of The
Grudge (2004) premiered this weekend on cable. Before I
get into it, I want to go over the history of this film. To
most people visiting this site, this is old news. But I just
want to make sure we're all speaking the same language:
| 1998 |
Director
Takashi Shimizu makes the 3-minute short that is the basis
for Ju-on / The Grudge for a class taught by genre
master Kiyoshi
Kurosawa.
|
| 2000 |
Ju-on
(2000) debuts on television. It is Shimizu's feature
length version of his 1998 short.
|
| 2000 |
Shimizu
releases Ju-on
2 (2000) a sequel to the TV movie.
|
| 2003 |
Ju-on:
The
Grudge (2003), Shimizu's first theatrical film in the
series, opens in theaters.
|
| 2003 |
Ju-on:
The
Grudge 2 (2003), a sequel the theatrical release premieres.
Once again, it's directed by Takashi Shimizu.
|
| 2004 |
Takashi
Shimizu retells his ghost story, this time for the U.S.
market.
(thanks
to Dwiff for making corrections) |
This guy
has built a career based on that one short film! And he's not
done! Shimizu has a third film in the Japanese series and a
sequel to the U.S. version currently in the works.
Out of all
of these films, I had only seen the first TV movie. I liked
it a lot. It's really creepy. I figured that I knew the whole
story, so I never bothered with the remakes or with the sequels,
which I heard weren't quite as good as the original.
As a rule,
I'm not a fan of big-budget remakes of low-budget genre classics
and Asian horror flicks. I prefer the originals. But when my
better half and I decided to watch The Grudge on cable, I kept
and open mind. After all, the guy who created the Japanese versions
directed it.
Anyway,
I liked the film. The less linear structure is a huge improvement.
The remake feels more like one whole story, rather than the
episodic stile of the original. And the movie genuinely scary.
There seems to be a really solid, creepy scare like every five
minutes! That's a lot more than the three scares in the original.
Maybe too many. After a while the effect wears off, and the
viewer is desensitized to what should be some really terrifying
imagery. Anyway, I'm not complaining. This is probably as good
as any American remake of a J-horror as we'll ever get. Though
I still don't understand the appeal of Sarah
Michelle Gellar...
For the
record, I'm also not a fan of mainstream comedies. But in the
spirit of the season, the little lady and I also watched Elf
(2003) on cable.
Friday,
August 26: Creature Triple Feature
Back when
I was in high school, all of the kids were talking about Humanoids
from the Deep (1980), which they had seen on HBO. My family
didn't have cable, so I just had to listen jealously as the
guys in my English described all of the gory details.
All these
years later, I have cable television and was able to record
& watch this film thanks to IFC's
80's Slashback series. The teenagers who gave me the gory
details about this Roger
Corman presentation were really focused on the gore and
tons of female nudity in the film. What they left out was what
a neat little monster movie this is!
The monster
suits are surprisingly well designed and constructed for a Corman
film. The look is a little bit of Creature
from the Black Lagoon with a touch of Pumpkinhead
-- both great looking monsters. Of course, Corman gets his money's
worth with these creature suits, giving them maximum screen
time.
Ishiro
Honda's Dogora
(1964) does just the opposite. There are very few shots
of the title monster in this film. Which doesn't mean that this
movie is not enjoyable. It actually has some of the best-defined
and memorable human characters of any Toho monster movie.
The story,
involving sharply dressed diamond thieves and the resourceful
Western Insurance investigator who pursues them, works all on
its own. Throw in a carbon-eating space octopus and how can
you lose?
Aimed primarily
at little Japanese girls, the first half hour of Mothra
2 (1997) is a bit too sweet to swallow. It’s like
an episode of Mighty Morphing Power Rangers on Valium and lollipops.
Then around minute 33, evil monster Dagarah (not to be confused
with the previous film’s Dogora) shows up. Mothra comes
forth; ready to fight, and now we have a movie!
The battle
consists of the usual monster-on-monster action, with the best
low-tech effects that the late 90's had to offer. The real surprise
here is Mothra's new "underwater" mode, where she
actually transforms into a lean and mean submarine version of
herself.
I wish I
could do that.
Wednesday,
August 24: 100% Rape-Free!
I said I
would watch something a little more wholesome today and what
could be more innocent than Don
Coscarelli's slice of a child's life, Kenny
& Company (1976).
Watching
the film today, it's hard to believe that 20th Century Fox all
but shelved it back in '76. This is a delightful film, thanks
to the wonderfully fleshed-out characters -- something that
Coscarelli is known for.
Future Phantasm
(1979) stars Michael
Baldwin (as Doug, another bold and fearless kid) and Reggie
Bannister (as the school's coolest teacher, of course) are
in the cast, as well as Coscarelli's own mother,
who plays the title character's mom.
The film
is a great piece of 1970's nostalgia, with just the right mix
of humor and melancholy as well as a dead-on portrayal of what
it's like to be a kid in the suburbs. Get it on DVD now from
Anchor
Bay.
Monday,
August 22: Toxic Avenger
Okay, I've
managed to get some rest and am in a much better mood today.
Maybe my spirits were lifted by a nifty little bit of fantastic
sexploitation from the Shaw
Brothers that I watched this evening: The
Oily Maniac (1976).
The story
here reads like a Marvel
comic: A crippled and bullied paralegal inherits a magic
spell that turns him into a super-powered monster in order to
avenge those who have been wronged. He transforms in to The
Maniac by covering himself with any type of oil-- crude, diesel
fuel, even cocoanut. After a while, this wears off and he finds
himself on the floor and returned to normal, just like Bruce
Banner.
To look
at him, this monstrous superhero could have just as well have
been called The Living Pickle or The Human Turd. Yeah, the costume
and affects are crude, but that's part of the charm. The animation
and camera tricks are used to their limit here, giving our ability
to able to change shape at will and reform his body if damaged.
Charming and effective.
Despite
all of the hokey fun, this isn't a kid's movie. Just about every
other scene features a woman getting her top ripped off. Who
this film was intended for is beyond my guessing. Another mystery
is why almost every movie I've watched lately so predominately
features sexual violence toward women. It wasn't done intentionally.
It isn't "Rape Week" here at Hot As Love. I'll try
to watch something a little more wholesome tomorrow.
Sunday,
August 21: My Kind of Ladies!
We've now
wrapped principal photography on our new film. Last night we
celebrated, so today I am goofing off.
I spent
the afternoon with two ladies who were both victimized by men
and gave it back to the world, in spades.
The first
was the Italian horror flick Werewolf
Woman (1976). Not a bad piece of Eurotrash, but we only
get to see the title character in wolf form (complete with two
furry wolf-like teats -- I was hoping for six of them) during
the first few minutes of the film in a flashback sequence.
The rest
of the movie is about a descendent of the lady lycanthrope.
She's mentally disturbed due to being raped as a child. The
modern day woman (played by the stunning Annik
Borel) believes that she has inherited her ancestor's curse,
and goes on occasional killing sprees. These rampages are triggered
during the full moon by sexually threatening individuals who
just can't keep their hands to themselves. A very atmospheric
and dreamy film.
Even sleazier,
grittier and more rape-infested was my second viewing selection
for the day, Zero
Woman: Red Handcuffs (1974) from Japan. This is the film
that inspired the popular series of direct-to-video
movies in the 1990's.
The pigs
in this one attack and abuse every woman they come across, including
the movie's bad ass title character. She's a lady Dirty Harry
who takes down the scum in her own fashion -- complete with
bright red accessories. This is some great-looking sleaze. It's
grim, violent, beautifully shot and loaded with 70's style.
Chain yourself up to this one.
The day
came to a close with punk rock hanger-on Don
Letts' latest cash cow, Punk:
Attitude (2005). There are some great folks interviewed
in the film, but anyone who is my age and from our scene isn't
going to learn anything new. It's worth a watch, but there were
a couple of things that got stuck in my craw.
First, several
of the people being interviewed spoke about how the underground
and hardcore scenes of the 1980's are largely ignored by punk
historians. This point is made several times and then -- THIS
FILM DOES THE EXACT SAME THING! There's a quick mention of bands
circa 1981 and then it's straight to 1991 and Nirvana. No mention
of Flipside, MaximumRockandRoll, the whole DIY scene or any
of the related bands. I guess a certain filmmaker was out of
touch with the punk scene when there was no money to be made
from it...
The other
thing that bugged me had nothing to with the filmmaker, but
the world in general (welcome to my war). The film ends with
a mention of the current wave of corporate-driven Mall Punk.
It just depressed me that kids would watch this film and then
go to Hot Topic to buy a Sum 41 CD and think that they're connecting
with the same spirit that bands like The
Stooges, The
Dictators, The
Clash and Black
Flag once had.
They're
not. Not at all. Nope, sorry kids. You're all just marketing
victims. But you'll never admit that. I think that starting
today, I'm going to approach every yuppie and teenybopper I
see wearing a CBGB's t-shirt and punch them squarely in the
crotch. How punk is that? Heck, the club
itself is only a block from where I'm sitting, maybe I'll
just go over there, burn it down and put us all out of our misery.
End of rant.
Go watch Zero Woman.
Friday,
August 19: Happy Birthday, Mr. Scrimm
Tomorrow
is the last day of principal photography on Death
to the Automatons. If you're interested, Fangoria's
web site has an
inside look at the film written by Tony Timpone.
After Saturday,
we move on to shooting the movie's second unit and special effects
stuff, which means a lighter production schedule for us all
and I'll be able to get back to seeing more movies.
I only got
to watch three films during production, which was three more
than I expected. The first was Jim
Jarmusch's collection of vignettes, Coffee
and Cigarettes (2003).
One night
when I couldn't sleep, I took in the William
Cameron Menzies version of H.G. Wells' Things
to Come (1936). Menzies' talent for design and composition
is present here, as well as a more than capable cast and themes
very similar to those in "Automatons".
Tonight
I collapsed in front of the TV with a VCD of Darwaza
(1978) AKA "The Door". One of the earlier films
by Bollywood horror masters, The Ramsay Brothers, the film is
about a cursed couple who take a long drive during which they
encounter a lot of car trouble, rapists and a monster that looks
like a cross between The Hunchback of Notre Dame and a giant
grizzly bear. As with all Bollywood productions, there's romance,
beautiful ladies and some musical numbers.
Now,
it's back to work! Much more to come next week.
Thursday,
August 11: Hot As Love!
I'm still
spending every waking hour working with Team MonsterPants on
our new film, Death
to the Automatons. So I haven't had time to see any movies.
Maybe I'll get a chance this weekend.
In the meantime,
check out the brand new interview with Mr.
Hot as Love himself, Reggie Bannister, over at DeadFlix.com!
Monday,
August 1: Warning Shots Are Bullshit
Tonight
I met Glenn and some of his pals at a club called Metropol
for a screening of the film that this site stole its name from,
Phantasm
(1979). Yes, I've seen the film a thousand times, but it
was fun seeing it projected on a big screen with a happy, playful
and super- receptive audience. Cheers filled the room as Reggie
Bannister spoke those famous words: "We're as hot as
love". A fun night.
Over at
DeadFlix.com,
there's a brand new interview with Phantasm star, A.
Michael Baldwin. There's also one
with yours truly, if anyone really cares.
Alright
kids, I'm going to be very busy this month making movies and
won't be around as much to bore you with my ramblings, so watch
these films to keep yourself occupied:
I have to
admit that most of this month's recommendations were inspired
by a quick flip through the current issue of Rue
Morgue Magazine. A lot of cool stuff is making it's way
to DVD these days. Among these gems is Street
Trash (1987). It's out as a single disc release this month,
but you collectors may want a few months for the 2-disc deluxe
edition before you make and purchases. I saw this film at the
Copley Square Mall in Boston when it first came out. That was
back when films like this still played in mainstream theaters.
I think it had some sort of adults-only rating, but that didn't
stop us from taking my then-girlfriend's 13 year old sister
to see it. Anyway, it's a vulgar and funny little film that
combines the sensibilities of a Frank
Henenlotter movie with that of the very early work of Peter
Jackson.
The folks
at Barrel
Entertainment are teasing us with the announcement of a
DVD release of brutal serial killer movie, Angst
(1983), but no date has been announced. Larry F. turned
me on to this film a few years back. It's about a convicted
killer who gets out of prison and goes right back to what he
does best. Shot in real-time, this film makes Henry:
Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986) look like Free
Willy (1993).
What else
is coming out on video this month? Why, a little film that I
wrote and directed called The
Off Season (2004). All of the folks that I often mention
here worked on it, Dave, Don, Laree L, Larry F, Noah, etc...
It stars Christina
Campanella, Don
Wood, Angus
Scrimm and Larry
Fessenden. It's a ghost story. Word on the street is that
the movie is being bootlegged already. Please watch the real
disc from Lions Gate Entertainment when it comes out on August
16, as it has a 30-minute "making-of" featurette that
I'm pretty proud of.
Dr.
Phibes Rises Again (1972) has been available on disc for
some time now as part of MGM's MIdnight Movies series. Best
watched back to back with the first film in the series, The
Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971), this sequel may not be as
good as the original, but the murders far more elaborate and
ridiculous. It stars one of my heroes, Vincent
Price, along with Robert
Quarry. Peter
Cushing has a cameo as a sea captain.
Finally,
a movie that may never make it to DVD (at least here in the
states): Vampire
Circus (1972). Easily the one of the best Hammer horror's
of the 1970's the film delivers everything that a film with
this title should have. David
Prowse plays a strongman and Doctor
Who's Lalla
Ward (who later married her Doctor, Tom
Baker) makes her first screen appearance in this film. Bloody,
moody and sexy, this is one worth tracking down this month.
